Gabrielle: "… unless, you knew that I would be suspicious, and so you switched the bags … I'm not close at all, huh?"
Aphrodite: [appears with Genia] … "For future reference, I'm now Mighty Aphrodite. My new disciple thought it up."
Gabrielle: "Your new what?"
Genia: "You were right, Xena, it was foolish of me to devote my life to some unknown god. From now on, I'm dedicating my life to Aphrodite."
Gabrielle: "That's not exactly what we had in mind."
Xena: "But we'll fix that later. Right now we've got some baggage to claim. Come on."
Genia: "So, how can I worship the goddess of love if I've never even experienced it?"
Aphrodite: "You're right, that does make you kind of a poser. Alright, pick a guy … any guy."
Genia: "Mm … [sees Frankus] … I'll take him."
Aphrodite: "Good girl, bad boy … oh, love classic." … [Aphrodite zaps the two kids with a love bolt]
Frankus: "I love you."
Genia: "And I love you."
Aphrodite: "Love at first sight, my specialty."
Frankus: "Marry me?"
Genia: "I thought you'd never ask."
Lagot: [seeing Genia and Frankus running off together] … "That man's got our virgin!"
[Xena and Gabrielle hide on a ledge in Ferragus' cave as he flies around with his new hat.]
Xena: [with chakram in hand] … "What goes up, must come down."
Gabrielle: [the doorbell rings] … "Since when do warlords get company?"
Frankus: "Father! … [entering with Genia] … I want you to meet the most wonderful girl in the world!"
Genia: "Oh, we're in love."
Frankus: "We're engaged."
Xena & Gabrielle: "Aphrodite."
Aphrodite: "Down if front. I can't see anything."
Xena: "What's the matter with you?"
Gabrielle: "You put a love spell on Genia."
Aphrodite: "That I did. And even as we speak, our sweet little virgin is falling madly in love with the cutest little son of a … warlord?! … Okay, just relax, you guys. Calm down. I can, uh, I can take the spell off."
Xena: "No. No, you'll throw Genia for a loop. Just follow my lead."
Ferragus: [the doorbell rings] … "Frankus!"
Xena: [in drag] … "Hi. Easy action there, fella. We're about to be family. Well, you must be Frankus! My boy, good to know ya. I'm Anthrax, and this is my wife, Spittooonia. We just wanted to know what kind of a family our little girl was marrying herself into."
Frankus: "Genia, your parents are here."
Genia: "My parents? But, my parents are de-- "
Aphrodite: "… dedicated to making sure that you have the best wedding ever, Pookie."
Xena: "That's right."
Aphrodite: "Oh, look at these two. Like son, like father. Am I right? Aren't wedding's just the biggest drag to organize?"
Xena: "Which is why we brought along a little help."
Gabrielle: [with Texan accent] … "Belle …"
Gabrielle: "… of Belle's Bridal Barn. 'Cause I put the `ding' in `wedding.'"
Xena: "Yes, you do, Sister."
Gabrielle: "Now, we should start by selecting the cover scheme … Corinthian white. Oh, exquisite selection. And now, about the outfits."
Genia: "Shouldn't I decide that?"
Aphrodite: "Oh, Honey, let's leave that up to the experts, shall we, Pookie?"
Xena: "Belle, why don't you fix up these two fine fellas with some new duds while we go and have that long overdue talk with Genia about her conjugals?"
Gabrielle: "Now, I see before my eyes … harem pants."
[Behind a partition, Aphrodite takes the love spell off Genia.]
Genia: "Where am I?"
Xena: "You're in Ferragus' lair."
Genia: "What am I doing here?"
Aphrodite: "Remember? I put a spell on you to make you fall in love with his son?"
Genia: "Oh, that's right. I wanted to fully experience my goddess' power."
Xena: "Just like you wanted to kill yourself for a bloodthirsty god. Genia, you can't give up your life for every deity that comes along."
Aphrodite: "It's true, Sweet Pea. We're not all we're cracked up to be."
Genia: "Well, how am I supposed to live my life with no one to lead me?"
Xena: "You've got to stop following. Maybe you can be your own guide. Genia, haven't you ever felt happy just to be yourself?"
Genia: "Yes, these past few days with you and Gabrielle."
Xena: "Well, that's a start. Now, we're gonna get you out of here."
Aphrodite: [to Genia] … "Stay."
Ferragus: "I don't know. It's a bit girlie."
Gabrielle: "Oh, no, Honey, not with those shoulders. Now, for the final touch." … [reaches for the helmet]
Ferragus: "The helmet stays."
Xena: "So, I hear from Genia that you're in the warlord business."
Xena: "That as dangerous as they say?"
Ferragus: "And then some."
Xena: "Yeah? You got any scars?"
Ferragus: "Here, this scar, guy took out my spleen!"
Xena: "Well, who needs a spleen?"
Ferragus: "There … guy got me with a short sword."
Xena: "Lucky it wasn't a long one."
Ferragus: "You want scars. Well, I'll give you scars … [takes off helmet and places it in the bag] … Got this scar given to me by Xena, the warrior princess herself!"
Xena: "Let me take a look at that … [to her entourage] … I don't remember … Have to come to the light. Oh, yeah. Why, that Xena really is something. She nearly split ya open like a coconut … [Aphrodite switches the bags] … You know what? I think I better take my little girl out of here. It doesn't do for the bride to be exposed before the big day, plenty of time for that afterwards, know what I mean?"
Gabrielle: [to Ferragus] … "Now, about my bill …"
Aphrodite: "Okay, I'm gonna put some distance between you and that warlord … [zaps Genia out of the cave and back into the marketplace] … That ought to keep her out of trouble."
Lagot: "That's her!" … [grabs Genia]
Genia: "Help! Please! Let me go!"
Zarat: "Thy will be done."
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