Xena & Gabrielle and Aphrodite team to save a young virgin sacrifice, while thwarting a local warlord and his horde. Gabrielle gets one up on Xena, much to her own dismay. Aphrodite almost gets it right. And Xena shows her softer side.
Gabrielle: "How big is it?"
Xena: "It's huge!"
Gabrielle: "Is it so big that I can't carry it?"
Xena: "Nah, you can slip it in your pocket."
Gabrielle: "Tell me!"
Xena: "No, because then it won't be your birthday surprise, will it? You'll find out tomorrow."
Gabrielle: "Yeah, another year older, but wiser? No."
Xena: "Well, anyway, you can't find out what it is until after you-know-what."
Gabrielle: "Not the pranks."
Xena: "It's tradition."
Gabrielle: "Xena, tradition or not, no practical jokes this year, alright? Not at all. Please? Please?"
Xena: [with a very silky voice] … "Oh, you're gonna have to do better than that."
Gabrielle: "Please? … [jumping up and down] … Please?"
Xena: [with fingers crossed behind her back] … "Alright, no practical jokes."
Xena: [handing Gabrielle a bag] … "Hold this for a moment, would you?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah … you'd think the helmet of Hermes would be a little lighter."
Xena: "I promised King Thoez we'd drop it off to him for his coronation, since we're going that way anyway."
Gabrielle: "Does that mean my present is in Thebes?"
Xena: "What is that?" … [pulls a telescope out of Argo's bag and proceeds to look through it the wrong way]
Gabrielle: "Xena, give me that … huh, I don't see anything." … [pulls the telescope away to reveal a dark ring around her eye]
Xena: "My mistake."
Zarat: "Oh, Lord! Hear me now! … Oh Lord! We beseech thee! Protect us from Ferragus!"
Priests: "Protect us from Ferragus!"
Zarat: "And lest ye find us ungrateful, Lord, we offer you a soul of unmatched purity. We ask that you grant us sanctuary from the warlord … Almighty Master, save us from disaster!"
Priests: "Save us from disaster."
Xena: "Put the girl down!"
Zarat: "You're interrupting a religious ceremony!"
Xena: "Forgive me, Father."
Zarat: "Stop her!"
[Xena and Gabrielle make short work of the priests, but not before the sacrifice is hauled over the edge of a cliff. Xena grabs the helmet of Hermes and dives over the cliff to save the girl.]
Zarat: "I commend you to the Almighty!"
Xena: [having caught the girl and flying, yes, I said flying, back up to the mainland] … "It's alright. I've gotcha."
Xena: "You alright?"
Genia: "Oh, divine presence, as you have made yourself manifest, take thy humble servant, Genia, to thy bosom." … [embraces Xena]
Xena: "Whoa … [gesturing to aforementioned bosom] … these are spoken for."
Xena: "Now what are you doing?"
Genia: "Praying to you, O' Flying One."
Xena: "Oh, no, no, no, it's just a hat. Look, I'm not a god. My name is Xena."
Genia: "You mean I'm still alive?"
Xena: "You're still alive."
Genia: "I don't believe it!"
Xena: "Think nothing of it."
Genia: "You ruined my sacrifice!"
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