Many Happy Returns
- Page 3 -

Xena: "Aphrodite? Meet Genia … a virgin."
Genia: "I don't believe it."
Aphrodite: "I don't either! I thought you guys were extinct!"
Genia: "But, the goddess is an evil myth told to rob women of their virtue and strip men of their pride."
Aphrodite: "Well, you got the stripping men part right, Honey."

Happy birthday, Gabby
Aphrodite: "Um, ladies, am I mistaken, or is it someone's birthday today? Happy birthday, Gabby."
Gabrielle: "Thank you."
Aphrodite: "What is that awful smell?"

Xena: "Listen, we're going to Thebes for Gabrielle's birthday. Care to join us?"
Aphrodite: "Thebes? You got Sappho tickets? What row?"
Gabrielle: "Xena, Sappho tickets. I love her poetry."
Xena: [irritated at the ruined--] … "Surprise."

Here, want some water?
Xena: "Here, want some water?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, no, no, no."
Xena: "Suit yourself." … [takes a gulp of water from the water skin and hands it to Genia]
Genia: "Thanks."

Aphrodite: [having been offered the water skin by Genia] … "Goddesses don't drink."
Genia: "Like you're really a goddess."
Aphrodite: "Watch this … [points towards Xena] … I like that bag … [generates an exact replica] … I have that bag."
Genia: "Some sort of illusion, I'm sure."
Aphrodite: "Okay, watch this." … [materializes a red rose]
Genia: "If you were really a god, you'd use your powers to reward the faithful and punish sinners, not do party tricks."
Aphrodite: "Well, I'm really more of a material girl."

Xena, can I just pop us to Thebes?
Aphrodite: "Xena, can I just pop us to Thebes?"
Xena: "Nope. I want Genia to spend time with a honest-to-goodness immortal. That's you. Come on, Gabrielle, the sooner we get going, the sooner you'll get your present."

She's planning my doom
Gabrielle: [to Aphrodite] … "She's planning my doom. I know it. I can feel it."
Aphrodite: "This is gonna be a fun trip … [to Genia] … Come on, you unfaithful."

Genia: [walking through Thebes] … "So, this is what the world's like."
Aphrodite: "Virgin in the city. That is so cute. You come with me."

Care for a bite?
Xena: "Here, Gabrielle. Care for a bite?"
Gabrielle: "Xena, that's that forbidden fruit gag, huh? No, you probably laced it with chili powder, or arsenic, or … [Xena pops the morsel of food into her own mouth] … or not."
Xena: "Come on, girls, we got a show to catch."

Xena: "Gabrielle, look I'm sorry. I don't know how I could have gotten the times wrong."
Gabrielle: "Xena, I cannot believe we came all this way and we missed Sappho."
Xena: "Just relax. Here, have a drink."
Gabrielle: "No, no, Xena, no dribble cups today."
Xena: "Suit yourself. Tell you what, you look after this … [hands her the bag with the helmet of Hermes in it] … and I'll go rustle us up some food."

Gabrielle: "Xena could have taken her bag with her. Why would she want me to hold the helmet of Hermes, huh?"
Aphrodite: "Oh, it's not … [holds up her matching bag] … this is the helmet of Hermes."

Oh really?
Genia: "Xena switched bags with us back at the marketplace."
Gabrielle: "Did she say why?"
Aphrodite: "Nope. Just told us to hold it."
Gabrielle: "Oh really? Hm."

Hi, Xena. I'm still sitting here, just watching your bag.
Gabrielle: "Hi, Xena. I'm still sitting here, just watching your bag."
Xena: "Yeah, thanks … Where are the other two?"
Gabrielle: "They went to freshen up."
Xena: "We gotta keep an eye on Genia. Someone was following us back at the marketplace."
Gabrielle: "The zealots?"
Xena: "Possibly. They'll be desperate to get her back."

Ferragus: [barging into the tavern] … "Xena!"
Xena: "Ferragus."
Ferragus: "So, you remember me. Must have made quite an impression."
Xena: "It's on your belt buckle."
Ferragus: "Huh? … I want that bag."
Xena: "It's not for sale."
Ferragus: "Who said anything about paying for it?"
Xena: "Oh, you'll pay."

[Ferragus' band of thugs attack the dynamic duo.]

Thug: "Give me that! Give it!"
Gabrielle: "Get your hands off my bag!"

Xena: "Aphrodite! Get Genia out of here! And take the bag with you!"
Aphrodite: "Duh, like I'd leave behind a new handbag."

Genia: [materializing outside of the tavern] … "You … you are a goddess!"
Aphrodite: "Well, welcome to the party, Miss Fashionably Late. What took you so long?"

[Xena and Gabrielle make quick work of Ferragus and his boys, but not before he manages to get a hold of the bag.]

I thought you were trying to get something over on me
Gabrielle: "Xena, we have to go after Ferragus. He has the helmet."
Xena: "No, Aphrodite's got it. We switched bags in the marketplace."
Gabrielle: "I switched them back."
Xena: "What?!"
Gabrielle: "I thought you were trying to get something over on me, Xena."
Xena: "I asked for that."


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