Minya: " 'Thanks to Xena, the Bacchae were turned into the beautiful women they were be--"
Minya: "… before."
Gabrielle: "What do you think?"
Minya: "It's pretty good. Do you have one where Xena steals somebody's boyfriend, or do you always leave that part out?"
Gabrielle: "Minya, look Xena would never take anyone's boyfriend. She has more integrity in that way than anyone I've ever met. She will send the right message. I guarantee it."
Hower: "Minya, I want to be real honest with ya. I think I'm in love with Xena."
Minya: "She sent him a message, alright."
Gabrielle: "Xena, we need to talk about Hower."
Xena: "The giant is Gareth. We don't have much time. The mirror plan won't work."
Hower: "Gareth is --"
Minya: "The biggest, meanest giant to ever walk the earth. Xena's old buddy, Goliath, wanted to get revenge on Gareth for killing his family. But then, Xena and Goliath ended up on opposite sides during the Israelite-Philistine feud and Goliath got wasted … I read it in one of her scrolls."
Gabrielle: "Does Gareth wear a helmet?"
Xena: "With a heavy nose guard."
Gabrielle: "Well, why won't the mirrors --"
Xena: "There are heavy rain clouds moving in from the west. There won't be any sunshine to reflect."
Gabrielle: "What are we going to do?"
Xena: (thunder rumbles from the distance) "Zeus killed giants with lightning bolts."
Gabrielle: "How are we going to get lightning bolts?"
Gabrielle: "What is it?"
Xena: "I don't have a name for it, but if I can get it up into the air, I think we can use it to nail Gareth."
Gabrielle: "Get it up into the air?"
Xena: "Yeah, you know, make it fly. Let the wind carry it … Yah!"
*** Xena's flying parchment takes flight … for about 20 seconds.
Minya: (to Hower) "Looks like your precious has a screw loose."
Gabrielle: "Xena, look, I hate to doubt you after all we've been through, but I think this is a long shot."
Xena: "Well, what's your plan?"
Gabrielle: "Hey, don't get defensive. I just don't share your vision."
Xena: "There were plenty of other times when you didn't share my vision."
Gabrielle: "And, you were right those other times, but eventually you're going to be wrong. Call it the law of averages. I'd just as soon it not be when the biggest giant to ever walk the earth is head our way."
Xena: "Maybe if I run with it ... Alright, come on, big guy."
Gabrielle: "Have faith, Gabrielle. Have faith … Aah!" -- Said not-quite-flying parchment attacks the poor bard.
Gabrielle: "Yes! Woo-hoo! We did it, we did it, we did it, we did it! Yeah! When Gareth gets here we're gonna have … a piece of parchment flying in the air ... with a belt buckle tied to it ... Xena, what is this supposed to do?"
Xena: "Bring the power of Zeus to earth. Here, you take over. Keep it up in there just as long as you can. I'm going to talk some sense into Hower."
Hower: "Xena, I was just brushing Argo down for you … (to Argo) … I think she like me."
Xena: "Hower, Minya is a good woman. She loves you, you're lucky to have her ... and you got a snowball's chance in Tartarus with me. You go that?"
Hower: "I think you're denying your feelings, Xena, but I can be patient. You'll come around."
Gabrielle: "AHHHH! …(throws herself from the roof of the stable) ... You know, I would have had you if I hadn't done the war cry."
Xena: "Yeah, sure you would."
Xena: "It's your turn to talk to Hower."
Gabrielle: "Right. Your flying parchment's stuck in a tree."
Hower: (from inside the stable) "My love for Xena will last forever!"
Minya: (Gab sees Xena talking to Minya in the distance) "Thanks, Xena."
Gabrielle: "What did you say to her?"
Xena: "I just gave her some advice about handling men. I don't know if she really listened. She doesn't trust me, you know. How'd it go with Hower?"
Gabrielle: "Not well. Maybe you could kick him around a little bit."
Xena: "Yeah, but he might like it."
Gabrielle: "That's true. Hm."
Xena: "If this works, I'll repay an old friend a debt."
Xena: "Yeah. I've always regretted that he had to die. At least now I get to even the score for him. The giant that killed his family is headed toward the wrong village."
Gabrielle: "The dead can hear our thoughts. I'm sure that he knows you care about him."
Hower: (the ground shakes for several minutes) "What was that?"
Xena: "Sounds like Zagreas just ran into a certain giant. That Gareth never could resist stomping an army."
Hower: "Brilliant. That was your plan all along - to bring Zagreas into Gareth's path. Do all your plans work this well?"
Xena: "Let's hope so. 'Cause when he's done with Zagreas, he's coming for us."
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