A very insightful look into the average day of our two heroes. Xena must stop a warlord from attacking one village while trying to stop a giant from squashing another. Our girls share a hot bath (thank you, thank you, thank you). Xena finds a new use for cookery, discovers an alternative (and more handy) use for Gabrielle's scrolls, gives Minya some advice on men and saves both villages. And, Gabrielle finally gets in the last word (and whack).
*** Some very unfortunate soldiers sneak up on the Warrior Princess and discover a new respect for cookery.
Xena: (to aforementioned soldiers) "Want some breakfast?! .. Come on! Come and get me! … Oh, you're so good."
Gabrielle: (picking up their now mangled frying pan) "Xena!"
Xena: "What? … (to half conscious soldier) … Where do you think you're going?" - Puts the pinch on the unlucky soldier.
Gabrielle: "Xena, this was our only frying pan. Why do you do that. You do have weapons, don't you?!"
Xena: "I like to be creative in a fight. It gets my juices flowing."
Gabrielle: "Can we cook with your juices?!"
Soldier: "Could you guys talk about this some other time?!"
Xena: "Oh yeah, I've cut off the …"
Soldier: "Flow of blood to my brain. I've heard all about it. What do you want to know?"
Xena: "Who sent you?"
Soldier: "Zagreas. He wants to loot a little village not far from here that had a big harvest this year."
Xena: "What village?"
Soldier: "Piedmont. Zagreas heard you were in the area, so he sent us to stop you before you could get in his way."
Xena: "Looks like we're going to Piedmont. Okay, Gabrielle …"
Soldier: "Hey! Hey!"
Xena: "Oh, sorry. I guess I haven't totally woken up yet." - Un-pinches the poor fellow.
Gabrielle: "Which way?"
Xena: "I don't know. I've never been here before."
Gabrielle: "Xena, you know, you should have asked for instructions when you had the pinch on that guy."
Xena: "Well, you were there. Why didn't you ask him?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, like you want me to butt in on one of your pinch interrogations."
Xena: "Why not? You ask good questions."
Gabrielle: "Really? Thank you
Gabrielle: "Xena, here comes a guy. Let's try this. You put the pinch on him and I'll ask the questions."
Xena: "Hey, why don't we try asking him the regular way first, huh?"
Gabrielle: "Excuse me, sir -"
Hower: "You're Xena."
Xena: "Yes … (Hower just stares awestruck at the Warrior Princess) … hmm?"
Hower: "Oh, uh, my village is in great danger."
Xena: "Is Zagreas after your village, too?"
Hower: "Not Zagreas. A giant wanted us to pay him protection money, but we didn't have enough. So, he says he's going to come this afternoon and flatten our town."
Gabrielle: "Two villages in dire straights. I hate when that happens. Well, I guess we'll just have to methodically examine the needs of each village and then determine where we can do the most good. Yeah?"
Gabrielle: "Alright, now I've made a list of pro's and con's, which village is in the greater danger, which has the most to lose, giant vs. warlord, and so on. Now, I'm sure with careful consideration of the facts we can come to the right decision."
Xena: (flips a dinar) "Heads ... we take on the giant."
Gabrielle: "Of course, that's another way."
Hower: "Oh, uh, Laurel, it's this way."
Gabrielle: "Hey! Hower, does your village have a store that sells frying pans?"
Xena: "You know, I really don't want to hear about this all day."
Gabrielle: "Look, I'll drop it. I suppose raw meat can't kill you."
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