A Day in the Life
- Page 3 -

Gabrielle: "Fat?"
Xena: "No buff."
Gabrielle: "Hm. Toxius."
Xena: "No."

Xena: "That's interesting."
Gabrielle: "What? There's actually something interesting about this place, Xena? Hello, this is like every other village we've ever been in. You know, for once you'd think somebody would try something new ... line the road with birch trees, or ..."
Xena: "No, I mean there's no one here."

Minya: (with small goat in hand) "Oh, stop wiggling stop wiggling you rotten goat!"
Gabrielle: "Hello?"
Minya: "Oh! -- You're Xena, aren't you?"
Xena: "Yes."

You are the main thing
Minya: "Alright! I finally get to meet the Warrior Princess herself. I've heard about all of your adventures, how you unchained Death and liberated Prometheus and nailed the Callisto bitch."
Xena: "Listen, I'm just here to --"
Minya: "You are the main thing. The real deal. You know, the number one attraction and, um (to Gabrielle) you must be um Lariel."

Minya: "What's it like to travel with the hottest warrior in the butt-kicking biz, huh? Does she sleep in that --?"
Gabrielle: "Well ..."
Xena: "Hey! Lady, we're on a mission."
Minya: "And that's why we stayed behind to help. All of the other villagers - they've run up to the hills, except for me and my boyfriend, Hower. You've probably met him already. Where is he?"
Xena: "He's doing me a favor. He told me about your problem."
Minya: "Well, I want you to know I'm ready to do anything you need. I'm as strong as a bull, and I can read. That's a pretty rare combination in these parts."

Minya: "So, what's your plan."
Xena: "I don't know yet. I'm going to have to think this one out."
Minya: "Fine. What can I do to help you concentrate?"

Concetrating on the problem at hand
Gabrielle: "Myzentius?"
Xena: "No."
Gabrielle: "Who could it be ... don't tell me."

Minya: (pouring more water into the tub) "Is it too hot?"
Xena: "No, it's just right."
Minya: "I'll go get some more."

Gabrielle: "What are we going to do about the giant?"
Xena: "I don't know. It hasn't hit me yet."
Gabrielle: "You know, we could get Minya to round up all the mirrors."
Xena: "Mirrors?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah, in case he's wearing a helmet. You know, like Goliath. You can reflect the sun onto him and he'll take off the helmet and expose the giant soft spot."
Xena: "I've already done that."
Gabrielle: "Yeah, I know. And it worked. You know, you don't have to be original every time you fight, Xena."
Xena: "I suppose not - here, now I'll do your back."

Xena: (Minya pours another bucket of piping hot water into the tub) "That's enough, Minya!"
Gabrielle: "She's in that 'I'll do anything for the Warrior Princess' haze."
Xena: "Yeah, well, she's a good kid, I suppose."
Gabrielle: "You know, her boyfriend's in love with you. I guess I'll have to straighten that out, too."
Xena: "Why you?"
Gabrielle: "Because I do the sensitive chats."
Xena: "Well, that doesn't mean that I can't."

Why do you have to be so competitive
Gabrielle: "Why do you have to be so competitive about everything?"
Xena: "Oh, and you're not?"
Gabrielle: "I'm less competitive than you are."

Xena: (Minya pours yet another bucket of water into the tub) "That's enough, Minya! Thank you."
Minya: "Sure. You got your plan yet?"
Xena: "Well "
Gabrielle: "We want you to collect all the mirrors in town."
Minya: "Is that what you want, Xena? Are mirrors part of the plan?"
Xena: "Yeah for now."

Xena: "What?"
Gabrielle: "You said 'for now'."
Xena: "So."
Gabrielle: "You're not going to do that again, are you?"
Xena: "What?"
Gabrielle: "You know 'what'. We set up a perfectly good plan and then you change it."
Xena: "Well, you gotta be flexible, it comes with the job."

Are you sitting on the soap?
Xena: "Are you sitting on the soap?"
Gabrielle: "I was wondering what that was."

She's alright ... if you like that type
Minya: "Hower, Xena's here. Isn't she incredible ... so strong ... so confident ... so brave ... so ... "
Hower: "Beautiful."
Minya: "Well, she's alright ... if you like that type."

Hower: "Xena I delivered your message to Zagreas. He --"
Xena: "Wanted to know what I was up to and decided to hold off his attack on Piedmont till he could figure it out. And, he wouldn't agree to my offer."
Hower: "That's right! How did you know that?"
Xena: "I used to ride with Zagreas. He's got nerves of mush and he wouldn't trust his own mother."

Xena: "Hower, I want you to go back to him , and tell him that I don't mind if he sacks Piedmont, but he had better not come anywhere close to Laurel."
Hower: "Okay, anything you want, Xena. Well, I'm going now, Xena."
Minya: "Bye, Hower."
Xena: "Hey! Hower, say goodbye to Minya."
Hower: "Bye."
Minya: (Hower starts off at a jog to carry out Xena's instructions) "He's running. I've never seen him run for anything but a meal."

Do you want to trade?
Xena: "When Hower gets back, one of us has got to talk to him."
Gabrielle: "Hm Minya, is this you frying pan?"
Minya: "Yeah."
Gabrielle: "Do you want to trade?"

Practice makes perfect

*** Gabrielle tries to sneak up on Xena while she's meditating. Silly girl. Her attempt to 'get' Xena goes awry with one kick from the Warrior Princess.

Was it someone you fought before I met you?
Gabrielle: "Sinteres."
Xena: "No."
Gabrielle: "Was it someone you fought before I met you?"
Xena: "No."

Gabrielle: "Fine. Who was it?"
Xena: "Theodorus."
Gabrielle: "Theodorus? Xena, Callisto killed Theodorus."
Xena: "Yeah, but she was in my body at the time."

Minya: "Ow!"
Xena: "Hey!"
Minya: "The rotten thing (Xena's whip) came back and bit me."
Xena: "You have to be careful with it. What are you doing with my whip, anyway?"
Minya: "It's not your whip anymore. I traded my best frying pan for it fair and square."
Gabrielle: "Look we have to cook our food. I'm still waiting for the fish we had for breakfast to stop trying to swim upstream."
Xena: "No, this isn't about cooking, is it?"
Gabrielle: "I don't know what you're talking about."
Xena: "I messed with your scrolls, so you ... you traded my whip for a frying pan? ... (to Minya) I want it back."
Minya: "No. It belongs to me. You don't get that concept very well, do you? The whip is mine ... the frying pan is yours ... Hower is mine ... she's yours."
Gabrielle: "Hmpf."

Xena: "I'm going to go check on the giant. Move all the mirrors to the north end of town."
Minya: "You're not the only tough broad around here, you know. You can run, but you can't hide. Warrior Princess my "

Hower: "Ho, Xena!"
Xena: "Yo, Hower."
Hower: "Zagreas is --"
Xena: "Moving in this direction?"
Hower: "How do you know that? You're a genius."
Xena: "No, I just know that scum always floats to the surface. He wants to see what I'm doing in Laurel. He figures there must be some profit in it."
Hower: "Uh-huh, but why do you want him to come this way? Then you'll have to fight the giant and Zagreas' army."
Xena: "Not if we time things right."

And I though I had big feet
Hower: "What is it? Wow! And I though I had big feet."
Xena: "Three paces. It's got to be Gareth."
Hower: "Who's Gareth?"
Xena: "Only the biggest, meanest giant to ever walk the earth."

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