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Season 1 ...

"Behold your former mentor and still greatest fan ... at your service."

"I want you back, of course, my Warrior Princess as my Warrior Queen. We were once a great match."

"My dear Xena, you were always fighting for a better world. You were going to conquer it and then you were going to rule it. The perfect way to bring order out of chaos and you were doing very, very well."

"You want more than just living. Danger excites you. And, as you know, I am somewhat dangerous. Action and power draw you like a moth to a flame. It burns inside you. I burn inside you ... like a fever. Xena, you will never be answerable to these pathetic creatures. Not the Xena whose army scortched the earth at will. Remember it now, the unfettered freedom of it. You're Xena ... unstoppable ... unbeatable."

"Sometimes the best man for a job ... is a woman."

"All dressed up and no one to kill."

"I thought about for a long time. What could I do to win you back? Money? Power? What was your weakness? Then it came to me ... Daddy! It was so glorious. You did everything I wanted. You killed soldiers. You even left your pesky little friend for me. Ah, I knew that ruthless warrior was still inside you, and now you're back where you belong. This is your army, Xena. I had it created for you, and it feels good, doesn't it, leading an army into battle for the glory of Ares."

"What is a father, Xena? A man who guides you, who teaches you how to live your life. I did it all for you...and I'll never let you go."

"Oh Xena, you could have had it all. I think one day you will."

Season 2 ...

"Didn't you serve as judge, jury and executioner? Or, am I missing something? A young girl was before you. She had committed unspeakable crimes...just like you. You were given the chance to reform. A chance you never gave Callisto."

"I'll put you back into your own body. C'mon Xena, you must miss staring into those baby blues anytime you past a mirror."

"Well, you're in her body, but you still have your touch...warm...firm...passionate...yet at the same time, gentle. Now, Callisto, she's all animal. You know, she starts like a cold fish, but you press the right buttons...hold on, it's quite a ride. Mind you, my experience with her was quite unique. She was in you body at the time."

"You changed, why not me? I never lied to you, Xena. Oh, deceived and manipulated, yeah, but a god never has to lie."

"I think you might be surprised about the change you can inspire in a man ... or a god."

"I've been hanged, swung over a fire, and nearly shish-ka-bobbed on razor sharp spikes. How you mortals get from day to day, ya know!"

"Go ahead ... take your best shot."

"If the world thinks it knows death and destruction ... wait ‘till they get a load of me."

"I'm in your blood. You know you can't fight me."

"The world has become a glorious place. The weapons more lethal. The people more hateful. And, there's a new leader with a new vision, lot of potential, his name's Hitler."

"You could have had it all, but now I'm mad."

"You gotta learn to relax more, Strife, savor the moments of existence. Example, this is the site of one of my greatest triumphs, the Battle of Torrence. Ten thousand corpses littered the battle field. The stench was ... invigorating ... No general, it was a warrior. Xena. She led her army through the opponent's infantry like flies. Limbs were scattered everywhere. It was beautiful ... I wouldn't give up on her just yet. Death's perfume can be very ... addictive."

Season 3 ...

"You're my favorite. I don't want to see you throw yourself off some cliff. It's such a tastelessly melodramatic way out of this life."

"No, life isn't worth living. It's to be taken and beaten and wrestled and formed in your image. That's where the meaning lies, in what you can twist life into. For those who just endure life, yeah, it is a very nasty joke. But for those who form it with their will, the joke is on those who get in the way."

"Satisfy the Furies. Give your mother to the worms. You are on the brink of ultimate freedom, Xena. Do it and you will be reborn into a world of true choice beyond Good and Evil. Not only will you regain your sanity, but you will see the world as few have seen it ... as a playground to your will."

"That was brilliant. If I was your father, I'd be very, very proud ... I still don't get what you see in her (Gabby)."

"It's time for the new generation to lead the old out of darkness."

"You are smarter than you look and you're not frightened of me. It's annoying, but it sets you apart from the others I've dealt with."

"Still miffed about the insanity thing? Oh, get over it, even the Furies have forgotten about it by now. There's no real damage done."

"You know, Caesar and I talk now and then ... Don't get jealous, I don't always answer him."

"There is no place for one god in this world. This is the world that we created! Zeus, Athena, Hades, Poseidon. It is our world."

As the God of Love: "Oh, it is times like this I regret the fact that I'm a lover and not a fighter."

"How I hate happy endings."

"Just goes to prove what I've been telling you all along, no good deed goes unpunished ... saving people ... defending the weak ... trusting someone who betrayed you."

"This whole atonement kick you've been on lately, it's not you. You're full of fire, bending the world to your will, full of rage and revenge. Accept it, Xena, embrace it. You know what to do ... who to kill."

"You are the most divine, delicious warrior. A man can't help saluting your return.
And if you start my heart ... It's just the way you slash and burn.
Bewitching woman, straining at the armor plate, you singe me with the ardor you inflame
And in my carnal heart there's not a sorry shred of shame."

"You're lost and confused but I understand,
This once beloved friend has been slain by your hand.
You feel alone, betrayed and adrift.
But maybe her loss can be viewed as a gift.
Now I'll be your rock, your strength and support,
You're close confidant with whom you can consort.
I know you completely. Come melt into me.
Unleash the power of your destiny.
You've proved to yourself now that you've made the kill
That you're just like me with as evil a will.
Our forces are meant to be merged into one.
The world will be panicked when our work is done.
Let the music of war, with its lust for refrain
Arouse us to heights with a passionate strain.
Imagine how awesome together we'd be.
So feel what I'm feeling. Come melt into me."

"Nothing more need be said. Ding, dong, the bitch is dead."

"Pain is just nature's way of saying, 'Hey! You're alive.'"

"Point? There is no point to living. Don't you get it, Gabrielle? Maybe that's the source of all your pain. All you've been through with Xena. All she's put you through. Maybe you figured out that it all adds up to a big, fat zero."

"I am Ares, God of War. I will not end up a footnote in the annals of history."

"When Xena starts to move, nothing is safe."

Season 4 ...

"What do I want? What I've always wanted ... you."

"Y2K. The world is going to be in a state of chaos. It's a little something I came up with when I got out of the tomb you left me in. In a world that no longer worships me, I had to get creative. But now, I've got it and there's nothing you can do to stop it. I do, however, need some human help. So my choice , as always, was you. I guess I'm just a sentimental guy."

"You tend to lose a little bit of your edge when you haven't been worshiped in a while."

Season 5 ...

"What's a nice girl like you doing in manacles like those?"

"It's all about you and me, Xena -- not Kal, not even Zeus. Just the two of us bringing peace and order to the world through force -- something you and I were destined to do ... together."

"Honey, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but one action pack roll in the sack does not make you the heir to Ares' mantle."

"You have no idea what my standards are. So, why don't you go back to that little gang of bandits you were leading and leave the world domination to professionals, okay?"

"Now, I got something real important to deal with, but I'll come back later ... don't be here."

"It is hard to shed your perceptions of a person."

"You say ‘Minotaur', I say ‘Mynotaur' ... whatever."

"Fear always makes a good impression."

"I wouldn't confuse caution with compassion if I were you, Eli. The only reason that you're still standing here is that a good tactician does not make a move until he's seen all the angles."

"Since the beginning of time, it's been warriors who have shaped the world."

"She's a woman! Whatever you're thinking, you're probably right."

"This is not your standard god obsession, okay? I'm having urges that I'm not real proud of."

"... I love you, Xena."

"Baptism by blood. How fitting."

"A fight is a fight, no matter which side you're on."

"You still don't get it. I would sooner die in your arms … than live without you in mine."

"Who was it who said 'an army is a terrible thing to waste'? I think it was me."

"Ouch. Athena is beating you like a dog out there. Put a poultice on it. It's gotta sting."

"You know, they say blood is thicker than water, but blood runs thickest when love is involved."

"Still picking up on me after all these years. I'm flattered."

"See, that's just my point. It's not the same. Nobody's the same as you, Xena, not for me."

"Look, this is blood under the bridge. If you give me a child, the other gods will never find out that Eve is still alive ... Damn it! I'm not asking you, I'm telling you! You give me what I want or I will bring all of Olympus down on your daughter's head!"

"When you were born, there was panic on Olympus. It cost Zeus his life. Hera vanished. Then, we thought you were dead for twenty-five years. And do you know what happened? Nothing. So, the only power you have over us is our own fear. Reclaim your Destiny, Livia. Kill Xena."

"How does it feel, Xena - knowing the person you love despises you? Trying to reach her, but knowing in the end it'll either be her or you."

"But, he shouldn't hate Livia, should he? You're the one he should hate. You could have prevented all of this. But, no. Joxer's dead because the thought of me made you sick. Okay. But, if I sicken your soul … stopping Livia will kill it."

"You know, I'm just guessing, but I'm thinking Xena's gonna be pretty tough to kill."

"So, what we need is a distraction. Ooh, pick me."

"How does Xena do anything? She just does."

"You shot me! I'm the god of War! Nobody shoots the God of War!"

"I gave up my immortality to save them ... I'm sorry, but I got a thing for her."

Season 6 ...

"I don't do mortal at all well. I'm more of a … um … what's the word … GOD!"

"You're my friend, fly … there is no dishonor in defeat … for I am … the God of War!"

"'Ares, ditch the armor. Ares, what's going on?' Honey, Sweetie, I love you but you are suffocating me."

"You don't bring me flowers anymore. No. You've always hated me! I tried to give you Olympus! I tried to give you everything, but you stabbed me in the back!"

"Liar! You want it. You want the power, but you're just too much of a coward to admit it. You took it all. You betrayed me. Ahaha. Laugh. Come on. But you're not going to live to enjoy it!"

"Does this give you pleasure? Do you like this? You're like a snake. You're like one of those three-headed dogs! You are mean! If I could open you up, I would show people the mean inside you! And I will! I will!"

"You like that? Speak up, I can't hear you! Xena! Where are you? Don't hide from me … [he sees her trapped under the slab of ice he's standing on] … Oh, there you are. You're so beautiful. I can't hear you. You tried to fool me, the God of War. Well, that is what you get, Xena. That is what you get. You're right, I'm no a man. I am the man! Xena!"

"I gotta stop trying that. I'm gonna rupture something."

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