Fins, Femmes and Gems
- Page 3-

Xena's roaming hand caught in the act
Gabrielle: "Not the lips ... (cough) ... they chap so easily."
Xena: "Just what were you doing out there?"
Gabrielle: "I was ... I was trying to kiss my reflection in the water. I couldn't resist it. I leaned over and I tried to place my lips ..."
Xena: "... and you fell in. Any fish down there?"

Poor Xena
Gabrielle: "It was like my reflection embraced me. I sank into it. I was surrounded by it. And then, you pulled me up and ... I looked into your eyes and, Xena, I finally realized that there can be only one person for me in my life ... me. Hey, I let you save me."

Gabrielle: "Oh my ... where's my brush? ... Joxer."
Joxer: "Uhh?"
Gabrielle: "Can you hear me?"
***Joxer hears: (Gabs as Princess Gaia) "You Mighty Man Monkey."
Joxer: "Mmm."
***Joxer hears: "She monkey need you!"

Princess Gaia
Gabrielle: "Good, here's the problem. Aphrodite has enchanted you. That's obvious. Xena thinks that I've been enchanted, but I haven't."
Joxer: "Uhh."
Gabrielle: "I'm really worried about her. See, I've never seen her so focused on fishing before."

Gabrielle: "Joxer, have you understood anything that I've said."
Joxer: "Ugh."
Gabrielle: "Great ... that's okay."
***Joxer hears: "Me love Attus!"
Gabrielle: "I'll just have to use my superior intelligence ..."
***Joxer hears: "Me love Attus!"
Gabrielle: "... and overall good judgement to handle this."
***Joxer hears: "Zug-zug!"
Joxer: "Mmm?"
***Joxer hears: "Zug-zug Now!"
Gabrielle: "I'll speak with Xena."
Joxer: "Ooh! Ooh! Aah!"

Reminiscing about the past
An Alive Lyceus: "Cut it out, Xena!"
A Young Xena: "Lyceus, I have a bite."
An Alive Lyceus: "Wow!"
A Young Xena: "Look, Lyceus, it's Solaris!"

Gabrielle: "Xena! I have something really important I need to speak with you about ... Do these boots work with this skirt?"

Alas, those poor golden locks
Gabrielle: "Ow! ... You cut my hair?! My little golden fleece."
Xena: "It's perfect."
Gabrielle: "Of course it's perfect. It's my hair."
Xena: "And the color is going to work just beautifully with this."
Gabrielle: "A bent nail? You cut my hair to put a wig on a bent nail?!"

Xena: "It is not a bent nail. It's a hook. Look, I disguise it with your hair, attach it to my flying parchment, and we've got him."
Gabrielle: "Who's ‘him'?"
Xena: "Solaris."

Gabrielle: "Who's Solaris?"
Xena: "A fish that Lyceus and I discovered when we were kids. He's wily, Gabrielle. He's smart. He's cunning. He's a great opponent. Every time that Lyceus or I would catch him, he would find a way to escape. But, this time ... no."
Gabrielle: "Well, that's fine, except for one thing."
Xena: "What's that?"
Gabrielle: "You are not sacrificing my hair for a fish!"

Nothing is more pathetic than a pouting ex-warlord
Xena: (finally realizing that she can't mend her perfect golden fleece, Gabrielle relinquishes it to Xena) "Thanks. It really is amazing how much like Lyceus' hair it is. I'm sure Solaris will go for it. I've got to make him think that he's alone. A regular fishing pole won't cut it. Nope, we've got to reduce line drag, which means when we attack, we do it from the air."

Gabrielle: "Xena, why don't I just find some local fishermen, I'll lure them in with my eloquent speech, snap my fingers and you can have any fish that you want."
Xena: "No one catches Solaris but me."

Gabrielle: Do you ever get the feeling that we're forgetting something really important?"
Xena: "That diamond thing."
Gabrielle: "The diamond."
Xena: "Yeah, you see, your obsession keeps you from remembering very important things."
Gabrielle: "My obsession?"
Xena: "You can't see the fish for the lake."

Xena: "We only have a very limited amount of time to get the Mystic Diamond back, remember that."
Gabrielle: "What do you want to do? Track those guys down?"
Xena: "Before we catch Solaris? Are you out of your mind?"

Maecenus: "This (pile of boulders) wasn't here before."
Thug: "There must have been an avalanche."
Maecenus: "Your talents are wasted as a thug. You should have been an astrologer."
Thug: "I don't know anything about rocks."
Maecenus: "Alright, we'll have to make a detour up around the lake."

Yum, wet bard
Xena: (to a very un-enthused bard holding a silly piece of parchment) "Higher."
Gabrielle: "Is this okay?"
Xena: "Gabrielle, Higher, please ... alright, now let go ... Gabrielle, okay, this time the clip should work ... give it a pull."
Gabrielle: (SPLASH!)

Xena: "It worked. I really worked!"
Gabrielle: "What worked? Trying to overshadow my dynamic personality with some mud? Has that been the point to all this? It's beginning to make sense. Fishing. Solaris. Right. Now I understand."
Xena: "Understand what?"
Gabrielle: "You're jealous ... of me."
Xena: "That ridiculous!"
Gabrielle: "All this time, Xena, I have tried to let it go, you know, and it hasn't been easy. I have tried to be humble with you, but you pushed me too far."

Getting her point across
Xena: "Look ..."
Gabrielle: "No. Don't. I haven't seen this diamond. Yes, you say that it's stolen, and I took your word for it. But you bring me here where no one can appreciate my radiance. No one. No competition for you."

Xena: "I brought you here because I thought we could enjoy a good day's fishing."
Gabrielle: "There is no such thing as a good day's fishing. A day without fish is good."
Xena: "You know, you sounded like my brother Lyceus then. He used to argue with me about fishing, but I could tell. He had the same fire in his eyes that you and I have got."
Gabrielle: "Uhn-uh. Unless you brother was an Adonis, he and I are nothing alike."

Gee, you'd think that the King of the Jungle would be tanner
Gabrielle: "Isn't there anyone here who can appreciate my specialness?!"
Joxer: (and very naked might I add) "Ah-Ah! Ah-Ah! Ah-Ahhhh! ... I Attus. Attus appreciate."
Gabrielle: "Joxer?!"
Joxer: "Don't speak. Attus take you as bride. Ah-Ah! Ah-Ah! Ah-Ah! Ee Ee Ee!"
Gabrielle: "Joxer!!!!"
Xena: "Finally, a little peace and quiet."

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