The God You Know
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'Your mother's mission is protecting you'
Gabrielle: "Are you alright?"
Eve: "Gabrielle, I'm fine. You shouldn't be here. This is my mission."
Gabrielle: "Your mother's mission is protecting you."

Gabrielle: "Eve, there are some Elijans hiding in the catacombs on the outside of town. We'll join you there …Go!"
Eve: "Okay."

Caligula: "Either you're incredibly stupid, or you know that there's nothing I enjoy more than a good surprise."

In Arkansas, this would be legal
Ares: [Aphrodite, clearly under some sort of spell, walks towards Ares and begins to rub his chest and other assorted body parts] … "Okay, that touching - no … Stopping now."

Caligula: "Guards, take him to the prison, and take that Elijan with him."
Guard: "My lord, she's disappeared."
Caligula: "Well, find her! I'll make sure her demise is particularly spectacular."

'I'm getting bored of all these distractions'
Aphrodite: "I'm getting bored of all these distractions."
Caligula: "Well, then, my dear, you should rest." … [he kisses Aphrodite, who then passes out and is carried away]

'Allow me to explain'
Caligula: "Alright, why don't you try to tell me just exactly what you think you were doing."
Gabrielle: "Allow me to explain. I am Syndev of Thrace. I represent the financial interest of the great charioteer Saba. If that buffoon hadn't have interrupted, then Saba would have challenged you to a chariot race."

Caligula: "A chariot race? Well, there may be some gold in it for you if she can entertain me. Being a god can be so boring, and I do so love tall girls. Come with me. You will be my guest of honor at the palace so I can enjoy your company until the race."

'This place icks me'
Gabrielle: [having a foot washed and massaged by her partner] … "That feels good …"
Xena: "You know, Rome … this place icks me. Gabrielle, we've got to stop Caligula from killing Eve."
Gabrielle: "Xena, Eve is safe with the Elijans."
Xena: "For now. I don't trust her to stay put."

Gabrielle: "We have to stop this madman without hurting Aphrodite."
Xena: "Which means that we have to find out what this crazy bond is between them and break it."
Gabrielle: "We need to stop this Caligula from committing genocide for his cult of blood."
Xena: "Yes … Alright, now Aphrodite should be at the party. I want you to go there, find her and try to talk some sense into her. I'm going to join you there later. I need to go to the dungeon, talk to Ares. Good luck."
Gabrielle: "Xena, don't forget you're the guest of honor."

'Aphrodite, don't you remember me?'
Gabrielle: "Aphrodite … you're looking beautiful. You just seem a little different … [Aphrodite ignores here] … Aphrodite, don't you remember me?"

Aphrodite: "You're being very familiar, considering I'm a goddess and you're a butt-kissing parasite."
Gabrielle: "Aphrodite, I'm your friend."
Aphrodite: "Leave me alone." … [gets up from her couch and stumbles out of the room]

'I've never been so happy...'
Gabrielle: "Aphrodite … Aphrodite, are you okay?"
Aphrodite: "Fabulous. I'm wonderful. I've never been so happy … so …"… [backs Gabrielle up against a wall]
Gabrielle: "What?"
Aphrodite: "… happy." … [Aphrodite kisses Gabrielle]
Gabrielle: "What are you doing?"

Caligula: [noticing Aphrodite is no longer at his side] … "Where is she?"

Aphrodite: "I love him sooooo much"
Gabrielle: "Caligula? Aphrodite, I don't believe that."
Caligula: "Aphrodite … You must forgive her. She's tired and emotional." … [a group of scantily clad hunks escort Aphrodite back into the dining hall]
Gabrielle: "I can tell."

Caligula: "And where is your Saba? Hm? She insults both the emperor and the god with her failure to appear. It's time for the Praetorian guard to hunt her down. Maybe then she'll learn the importance of punctuality … in death."

Ares: "Xena, thank the heavens! How's Aphrodite?"
Xena: "I was hoping you could tell me."
Ares: "I came to Rome because I heard that she was losing her mind. You see, without the God of War, the Goddess of Love becomes unbalanced."

Gabrielle: "Caligula, you aren't going to leave before my world-renowned performance, are you?"
Caligula: "Performance?"
Gabrielle: "Yes."

Xena: "What does Caligula have to do with this?"
Ares: "It's like he's some kind of succubus, sucking her godhood from her bit by bit. Now, if you thought he was bad as an emperor, imagine him with the powers of a full god. And there is nothing I can do about it."
Xena: "Maybe I can."
Ares: "No! … No."
Xena: "I've got to come between them before it's too late."

[Gabrielle performs a bit of a warrior-like dance for Caligula and his entourage. During the performance, Aphrodite becomes almost lucid, until Caligula kisses her again.]

Caligula: "Brilliant! Fabulous!"

'She doesn't recognize us'
Xena: "Did you get to Aphrodite?"
Gabrielle: "She doesn't recognize us."

Caligula: "Saba! We've missed your company."
Xena: "I am at your command, Sire."
Caligula: "Oh-ho, careful. I can have some pretty unusual commands … [checking out Xena's very revealing outfit] … Wow!"

'First we need to know if you're a worthy opponent to race the god Caligula'
Caligula: "But, you're idea about the chariot race … first we need to know if you're a worthy opponent to race the god Caligula."
Xena: "Name your test, Lord, I will prove myself worthy of your honor."

[The guards bring Ares up from the dungeons to be skewed by Xena.]

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