Fins, Femmes and Gems

In which the writers show, once again, an unnatural fondness for fish. Aphrodite, in an attempt to sway our heroes from their mission, places an obsession spell on Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer. Xena becomes obsessed with fishing. Gabrielle becomes way too preoccupied with herself. And, Joxer immerses himself in the legend of Attus the Ape Man. But, not to fear, the North Star finds it's rightful place in the heavens and our girls go back to normal.

A walleye
Aphrodite: "Need it ... got it ... hate it ... can always hock it ... Grody! Why do these mortal types always give me fish. I hate fish."

Maecenus: "Aphrodite, it is my honor to be able to ..."
Aphrodite: "Yada yada yada ... did you get it or not? ... So this is the Mystic Diamond, huh? Nice one. Too bad I can't keep it."
Maecenus: "What? Then why did I just ..."
Aphrodite: "Duh! It's a star from the night sky. I gotta show this off. This little baby is destined to become the center of my constellation."

Aphrodite: "Now, take it to my priest in Parnassus. He's going to shoot it into the night sky for me."
Maecenus: "I'll put it up there for you right now, Most beautiful of Goddesses. Tie your gem on my arrow, so that my shaft can bring you ... satisfaction."
Aphrodite: "I do believe your sweaty, smelly leader is flirting with the Goddess of Love ... You don't have the thrust. Besides, my guy in Parnassus has better equipment, and he knows the right time to shoot. It's got something to do with some astrological stuff that gives me a headache. Now, go to Parnassus. Gotta be there by nightfall."

Maecenus: "There's just one small problem."
Aphrodite: "Yeah yeah yeah, Xena and her pesky posse's right behind ya. Don't sweat it, I got you covered ... I call it ‘obsession.' One whiff and whatever you're thinking about at that minute turns into an overwhelming obsession. Cool, huh?"

Gabrielle: "How could Aphrodite steal the North Star."
Xena: "She stole the Mystic Diamond from the Temple of the Heavens. Unless we get it's powers back before nightfall, the North Star will go out and the world will be in for some serious turmoil."
Joxer: "You mean things that go bump in the night really will go bump in the night?"
Xena: "All travelers on land and sea look to the North Star as a guide. The Mystic Diamond's powers will keep it shining."

Gabrielle: "Xena, there's no sign of Maecenus."
Xena: "Let's look around and see if they stashed it someplace."

Joxer's true nature comes out
Joxer: "What's this?"
Gabrielle: "That's the story of Attus, the Ape Man ... and the Princess Gaia. It's a beautiful love story."
Joxer: "Ape man ..."

Gabrielle: (in reference to a particularly racy fresco) "That's not humanly possible."
Xena: "Sure it is."
I think Gabrielle might need a bit of hands on education

Obsession for Bards
Gabrielle: "They say that the paintings of women in Aphrodite's temples represent her many faces, right? Based on this, I'd have to say that she's pretty full of herself."
Aphrodite: "Really?"
Gabrielle: (looking in mirror) "Pretty."

Xena: "They're probably headed for Parnassus. The priest there is an expert astrologer. Who knows what stupid thing Aphrodite would want him to do with it."
Aphrodite: "Nice. Double-dose for you, Warrior Babe."
Xena: "A walleye."
Aphrodite: "Big mistake. You're never getting that smell off your hands now."
What is it with fish?

Xena: "I've got it! I know what to do. The North Star is on the verge of extinction. The fate of the world is in our hands. We've got no choice. We're going fishing!"

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