Warrior ... Princess ... Tramp

Plot ... plot ... um ... yeah ... two Xena-look-alikes ... lots of confusion ... more flying babies ... Joxer finally gets the girl (well, one of them).

King Lias: "I've sent for Xena. Difficult times like these, it's good to have mighty friends close at hand."
Diana: "And who is mightier than Xena?"

Gabrielle: "We need to work on communication here. I thought you said to meet in the tavern tomorrow? And what did you say to Joxer to make him think you were in love with him? You have to watch what you say to this guy. He's a little crazy. He had this whole bar thinking you were some kind of low-life tramp."
Xena(???): "Gaurds! Throw this big-mouthed idiot in the dungeon."

Gabrielle: "'Big-mouthed idiot.' Maybe it's a code. Maybe it means something. Maybe I'm gonna kill her!"

Gabrielle: "I can take care of myself. Now why are you treating my like a kid? I thought we were past all that."
Xena...no...Meg: "Well, we're not."

Want a kiss?
Xena: "I take it you're not looking for a kiss."
Soldier: "No. I want your heart."
Xena: "You're not my type."

Meg: "The name's Xena ... that's Xena with a capital Z."

Xena ... no ... Meg: "Look don't listen to anything Gabrielle says. I'm seriously thinking about having her executed."

Xena, with a capital Z

Joxer: "So, I'll be outside your window should you need my sword at your service."
Xena ... no ... Meg: "I need your sword at my service right now!"

Joxer and Gabby incarcerated
Joxer: "Xena's kinda unpredictable, isn't she?"
Gabrielle: "You're telling me."

Joxer: "She was struck by Cupid's arrow. But don't worry, I'm prepared to do the honorable thing."
Gabrielle: "Leave?"
Joxer: "No. marry her. we could all travel around together. Xena and I could be like a father and mother to you."
Gabrielle: "Gaurds! Please ... please ... please ... I have to get out of here!"

Gabrielle: "I know what the plan is ... you're trying to drive me insane!"
Xena: "Let's go."

Joxer: "How am I supposed to know who the real Diana is?"
Xena: "Well, if you come across a woman who looks exactly like me and she shows any interest in you whatsoever as a man, that's the bad one."

Gabrielle gets a demonstration
Gabrielle: "How do I know you're the real Xena?"
Joxer: "Yeah. How do we know you're the real Xena?"
Gabrielle: "Hello, Xena."

Meg: "Mercy ... mercy ... please."
Gabrielle: "Tears are no good with me."
Meg: "Look at you looking down at me ... that's alright, I'm used to it. Snotty brats like you always hate girls like me."
Gabrielle whooping Meg's arse

Meg: "My father died in childbirth."
Gabrielle: "Your father died in childbirth?"
Meg: "He got drunk and fell off the roof while I was being born."

Xena: "I don't care what you've done in the past. Do good now and you are good."

Meg: "Three woman look so much alike and yet inside so different. One's a warrior ... one's a princess ... and one's a tramp."

Xena ... no ... Diana: "Hold it right there! I'm coming to get that baby and anyone who tries to stop me is going to eat my sword ... Yeow! ... But wait! I still have my ... round killing thing."

Xena ... no ... Meg: "Hold it right there! In the blink of an eye I can split the skull of anyone who moves with my trusty ... shamrock."

Xena: "Ayiyiyiyiiyi! Guess which one I am."

Meg: "So long, Xena."
Xena: "Goodbye, Meg."
Meg: "It was fun being you for a while."
Xena: "Just don't do it again in a hurry."

Meg: (to Joxer) "Ditch the broads and double back. I'll leave the kitchen door open for you."

Joxer: "Hey! Xena ... Gabrielle ... wait up! I ... uh ... listen, I got some things to ... uh ... attend to."
Gabrielle: "Fine"
Joxer: "So I won't be able to join you."
Gabrielle: "That's okay."
Joxer: "Are you sure? 'Cause I know how much you need a real warrior to watch your back."
Xena: "Joxer, she won't wait forever."

DISCLAIMER: Neither Xena nor her remarkably coincidental twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Meg, however, suffered minor injuries while preparing Aardvark nuggets for King Lias.

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