Stranger in a Strange World

A portal to a parallel universe opens up and swallows Iolas. He is transported to a world where everyone possesses the opposite characteristics of his world. Hercules is the ferocious Sovereign. His double (who is now stuck in Iolas' world with the good and kind Hercules) is a cowardly jester. Xena is ... well ... I'm not quite sure what she is. Aphrodite is the Queen of the Gods. Ares is the God of Love. And, Joxer is a great warrior (this must be an alternate universe). Iolas must find out who's poisoning Zeus, usurp the Sovereign and find way back into his own world. No problem for an overachieving side kick.

Making an entrance
Aphrodite: "Yoo Hoo! Geronimo!"
Ares: (to Hercules) "You gotta hand it to Sis. She really knows how to make an entrance."
Aphrodite: "Hah! Now that's a rush and a half."

Iolas: "Aphrodite? You're all covered up."
The Sovereign: "Watch your mouth. That's my blushing bride. But he has a point. It wouldn't kill you to let it all hang out."
Aphrodite: "Please, no. It's not lady-like."
Iolas: "Aphrodite's shy. Wow!"

Punishment indeed
Xena: "You're not going to punish me, are you?"
The Sovereign: "You wish."

Iolas: "Xena? You're with him ... Ow!"
Xena: "When I want a eunuch, I'll ask for you."

The Sovereign: "I see you brought a new love toy (whip)."
Xena: "Oh Sov, you're so ... you're so good when you're bad."

They like it rough
The Sovereign: "Oh, I could play like this all day, but unfortunately, I gotta get married."
Xena: "Oh, that's alright. We'll have plenty of time to play after the honeymoon."

Xena: "Don't ever let her change you. If she has her way, you'll be wearing a maid's outfit and a collar."
The Sovereign: "Sounds more like your style, not Aphrodite's."

'Little old me' my ass
Xena: "You're not going to forget me when you're married to her, are you?"
The Sovereign: "Don't worry, you'll be riding my coattails straight into Olympus like you planned all along, right?"
Xena: "Little old me?"

The Sovereign: (to Iolas) "Ah, she's quite a doll, isn't she? There's a world of scheming going on behind those baby blues."

The Sovereign: (to a flung over his shoulder Xena) "Ooh baby, you are going to scream now."

Ares, God of Love?
Ares: "Hey ... not so fast."
Iolas: "Ares. Ares, this is a ... new look for you."
Ares: "What did you expect? I am the God of Love."

Ares: "That's better, now it's a Love thing."

Ares: "Oh, it is times like this I regret the fact that I'm a lover and not a fighter."

Iolas: "Who's the God of War around here?"
Ares: "No, no, no, no, no. Don't even think about him. The last thing we need around here is that manic Cupid showing up."
Iolas: "Cupid? God of War? Weird."

Iolas #2: "Talking to Ares, huh? Saying a little prayer to the God of Love?"
Ares: "Me? The God of Love?"

Aphrodite: "Hi, there. Name's Aphrodite, and the walking bad attitude is Ares."
Iolas #2: "Ares, ugh. What's with the basic black? The last time I saw you, you were convening the Summer of Love."

Hercules: "Ares? The God of Love? Weird."

Xena: "Amazing, she can smile without cracking that frigid little face."
Aphrodite: "One of these days I'd like to crack something of yours."

Promises, promises
Xena: "What is this?! You promised me an execution."
The Sovereign: "I did, didn't I?"

Xena: "You look lovely in virginal black. About old Zeus, is it true he throws those thunderbolts because they're the only thing about him big and stiff?"

Xena: "A girl is nothing without her baubles."
Iolas: "The Xena I know is a lot smarter than that. My guess ... you are too."

Xena: "I'll get you, Little Goddess."
Aphrodite: "Eat cake, Baby!"
Xena: "Why, I oughta ... (major cake fight ensues) ... empty calories are no calories."

Xena: "Now guys, I think we should talk ... (flings shoe which ricochets off a wall bounces off a shield, knocks a soldier up side his head and then returns to her outstretched hand) ... guess I had more skills than I thought."

Ares: "How I hate happy endings."

DISCLAIMER: No Beard-Wearing, Love-Spewing, Smooth-Talking, Ares impersonators were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Herculean Episodes

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