Girls Just Wanna have Fun

In which scholars discover the first known seduction rave complete with strobe-like candles and ancient Mediterranean Rap music. Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer and Orpheus (or, rather, what's left of him) must battle the evil forces of Bacchus. Gabrielle gets taken in by an all night ancient Mediterranean seduction rave. Gabrielle becomes a Bacchae. Xena becomes a Bacchae. Whereupon, both take flying lessons. Wrongs are righted. And, just what would Gabrielle do to thank Xena?

Gabrielle: "Do you think the stories people tell about the Bacchae are true?"
Xena: "Some are, some aren't. What have you heard?"
Gabrielle: "Well, they say that a single bite from a Bacchae can turn a young innocent woman into a wild, soulless creature whose only allegiance is to Bacchus. And, once bitten, she's lured into his lair to drink his blood. If she does, there's no way to save her. She becomes a Bacchae...forever. They say Bacchaean woman can take many forms, sometimes just roaming the forrests as wolves, to them an unquenchable thirst for blood. They track their intended victim relentlessly until they corner him and tear him limb from limb. But, if you ask me, I think the stories are exagerated. You know, just made up to give people a really good scare...AAHHH!"

Xena and Gabrielle looking a tad incredulous
Joxer: "You see, the secret to defeating a wolf pack is to wear them down. I had those mongrels right where I wanted them."

Joxer: "Every year, the village has a festival to scare away the Bacchae. They give a prize for best costume, too."

Ancient Rap Diva:
"The moon is out and there's a chill tonight
C'mon and dance away the growing night.
Wave your hands in the air like you just don't care
Gonna get with the rhythm 'til the morning light.

You might think it's nice being all alone,
But, now I'm thinking that it's nice to be...
I should know better than to want to belong,
But the beat is so strong, I got to take it on.

Come on, come on, do it with me now.
Come on, come on, do it with me now.
Come on, come on, do it with me now.
If you want my love, you've got to drink the blood.

I want to dance with you.
I want you right next to me.
I want your soul and I'll give you what you need to be...

I'll keep you warm in the cold night air.
Just one kiss is what you need right now,
Just one kiss and I'll show you how,
Just one kiss is what you need tonight
To be dancing with the devil by the pale moon light.

Come on, come on, do it with me now.
Come on, come on, do it with me now.
Come on, come on, do it with me now.
If you want my love, you've got to drink the blood."

Gabrielle gets sucked in by the beat ...

... and nearly looses a few pints

Xena: "Hey girls! Sorry to break up the party."

Gabrielle: "You play the Lyre?"
Joxer: "Yeah, I play the Lyre. Don't advertise it all over town. I have a reputation to maintain."

Gabrielle: "So she has blood on her neck. She was in a fight. It could be anything. It could be a scratch. You know..."
Joxer: "Listen, I have seen every kind of wound inflicted by man or beast, and that, my friend, is a bite...specifically a Bacchae bite."
Gabrielle: "Then why hasn't she turned into one yet?"
Joxer: "Because these things take time. Listen, any second now Xena's gonna be sporting a new set of fangs...big ones. Wait a minute! Now I know why Xena didn't want me coming with her, because she knows I'm the only one who can stop her."
Gabrielle: "You know, we can settle this right now. I'll just ask her."
Joxer: "No! Don't ask her any questions. Are you kidding me? Anything she says is going to propel her into a Bacchaean frenzy. You better give me this. (snatching staff) I'm going to sharpen it into a point...Okay...fine. But, when she bites you head off in the middle of the night, don't come running to me."
Smile pretty for the Warrior bacchae

Orpheus: "Just because you agreed to help us doesn't make us friends."

Joxer: "Wow. These Dryad bones are sharp as nails. No wonder they can kill a Bacchae. Hey. Are you afraid...of this?"
Xena: "Should I be?"
Joxer: "No...just that Gabrielle thought you might be a Bacchae...okay, I thought you were one, too...but, you had blood on your neck."
Xena: "Sorry to disappoint."
Joxer: "Understandable. Nothing like stalking a Bacchae to get the blood flowing."
Joxer threatening Xena? ... he's dumber than I thought

Gabrielle, Frenzied Bacchae
Orpheus: "Forget the girl."
Xena: "I can't do that."
Orpheus: "I knew I never should have trusted you. Once again, you're selfish desires come first."

Xena: (to Orpheus) "Bacchus must have caused you a lot of, maybe, we can bring you some peace."

Nothing like a beautiful blonde ...
Bacchus: "No, Xena. Don't you know? Only a Bacchae can kill me...and you're not one of us yet. Bite her! Now, make her one of us."
Xena: "Gabrielle ... do it."
... sucking the life out of you

Joxer: "So, what's next?"
Gabrielle: "Next? We fight Medussa, right?"
Xena: "Right."
Gabrielle: "Oh you know, the one with snakes all over her head."
Xena: "Right."
Gabrielle: "And, one look and the mightiest of men is turned to stone."
Xena: "Right."
Joxer: "Oh...hey, just remembered it's my mom's birthday...and she's know, I better get back'll catch up with you guys later?"
Gabrielle: "No problem. (to Xena) You know, you almost died trying to save me and I really want to do something to thank you."
Joxer: (from afar) "Farewell my warrior chums!"
Xena: "You just did."
Hmm, what do you suppose Gabby would do to thank Xena?

DICLAIMER: No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the making of this motion picture. However, several Dryads lost their heads.

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