After Gabrielle is kidnaped (again) Xena becomes blinded during a fight. She and a young buck (bent on being the man who kills the Warrior Princess) team up to rescue Gabrielle from marrying a corpse. Time is running out ... will Gabrielle be toasted ... will Xena ever regain her sight back ... will Palaemon get an earful of Warrior Princess wisdom ... only time will tell (approx. 45 minutes, to be exact).
Gabrielle: "Hey, I've got an idea. Let's shop."
Xena: "What do we need?"
Gabrielle: "No. Not that kind of shop ... shop shop. You know, browsing, haggling, getting a deal."
Xena: "A deal on what?"
Gabrielle: "Eh, who knows, see that's the fun part. Something completely frivolous, Xena, C'mon, let's squander a few Dinars."
Palaemon: "Hey, that's my staff."
Xena: "No, it's not. It belongs to a friend of mine."
Palaemon: "That irritating, little blonde? She won't be needing it anymore."
Xena: "And why is that?"
Palaemon: "Because I killed her, Xena, and now I'm going to kill you."
Palaemon: "C'mon, Xena, don't hold back, or are you afraid of me? I'd understand it, I don't have a soft spot for you like Draco and I'm not out of control like Callisto."
Palaemon: "I want to be known as the man who killed Xena in a fair fight, face to face."
Palaemon: "The man who kills you will have quite the reputation."
Palaemon: "Admit it, I'm a very formidable foe."
Xena: "No, you're nothing but a stupid kid with a very limited life expectancy."
Xena: "Young thugs like you are a Dinar a dozen."
Apex: "Look around you, as you can see, we have a tradition of making innocuous, blue-eyed, blondes our Queen."
Gabrielle: "Yeah, well, I'm more of a red-head."
Vidalus: "I don't respond well to threats ... however, actual pain can be quite persuasive."
Palaemon: "What are you, crazy?"
Xena: "No, but I am in a hurry, and I need you to be my eyes. You and me are gong to find Gabrielle and anything that happens to me happens to you first."
Gabrielle: "Look, my best friend is Xena, Warrior Princess, and she is not going to like this forced wedding thing, if you get my drift."
Vidalus: "Little husky, don't you think?"
Vidalus: "This whole threat thing is not very lady-like. And take you hands off your hips, you look like a scrub woman."
Vidalus: "I'm just trying to teach you to act like a lady."
Gabrielle: "I know perfectly well how to act like a lady."
Vidalus: "You have the hand gestures of a wagon driver."
Gabrielle: "I can't believe this."
Vidalus: "And that dialect ... Thrace ... Macedonia ... what does it matter? Backwoods is backwards, as they say. Posture is not bad. We can cover up that peasant muscle. But those dish washer hands ... white gloves could be a solution."
Xena: "I've got save my friend."
Palaemon: "Well, that must be some friend."
Xena: "You are wrong to mold yourself on who I used to be. I was confused back then."
Palaemon: "No, you were committed. You had power and nothing could stop you. People knew who you were. You commanded respect."
Xena: "I commanded fear. It was no way to live."
Palaemon: "Fear, respect, call it what you will, but you were the best. That's why I have to kill you, Xena, then I will be the best."
Vidalus: "You are not reaching for a mug of beer in a tavern. You are extending your hand for a kiss. It should flutter up like a graceful dove."
Gabrielle: "Have you ever been in love, Vidalus, I mean really in love?"
Vidalus: "Well, there was a certain someone."
Gabrielle: "Now, when you think of that person, can you imagine being with anyone else? Well, now you know how I feel. I can't marry the King because my heart belongs to another. Even though I can't be with them now, I'm not ready to be with anyone else."
Palaemon: "So what's the plan? Hey, I know. We'll invade the same way you did in Boeotia a few years ago. Setting their oil reserves on fire was a stroke of genius. They say you could hear the screams all the way to Athens. Or how about the way you slaughtered those men at Corinth?"
Xena: "Those aren't pleasant memories for me, and I don't like you talking about them as though they were."
Palaemon: "What do mean? You were brilliant. My only hope is that I'll be half as good."
Xena: "And I'm the one who's supposed to be blind."
Gabrielle: "Your Majesty, I'm sorry to disturb you before the wedding, but I thought we should meet sooner or later ... oh, I knew you'd understand. Cold hands, you must be as nervous about this as I am ... or not. The truth is, well, I can't marry you. No, no, it's not you. It's me. I'm not ready for this kind of commitment, which is probably better for you anyway because all of the men I get serious about seem to wind up dead ... your Majesty? ... Mother of Zeus!"
Apex: "The highlight of your honeymoon will be a trip to the royal crematorium."
Palaemon: "Is your friend really worth all this?"
Xena: "I'd give my life to save her."
Palaemon: "You see, friends make you vulnerable. That's why I don't have any."
Xena: "Oh, is that why?"
Palaemon: "You don't like me very much, do you?"
Xena: "I don't like who you pretend you are."
Palaemon: "What do you mean ‘pretend'."
Xena: "I've know a lot of bad men. They've hardened their hearts. You're not one of them yet."
Xena: "Be careful, Palaemon, we all eventually become what we pretend we are."
Vidalus: (to Xena) "Leather, huh? Bold choice."
Xena: "Now, that's a sight for sore eyes."
Palaemon: "I was right about something, Xena."
Xena: "What was that?"
Palaemon: "I said I could learn something from you, and I did."
Palaemon: "That you are who you pretend to be, so you better pretend to be something you can live with. I think I'm going to pretend to be good for a while."
Vidalus: "I think I might follow him and see if he needs a sidekick."
Gabrielle: "You know, it's pretty good work if you can get it."
Gabrielle: "You know, this hasn't been good for my self-esteem. He didn't like my hands, my walk, my stomach, my curtsey and ... can you curtsey ? ... I hate you ... in a good way."
DISCLAIMER: Once again, Gabrielle's luck with men was harmed during the production of this motion picture.