Xena and Gabrielle set off for the frozen tundra of the Norse lands again … with the Paparazzi hot on their trail. Join us tonight as award winning, investigative journalist Nigel Inyourface examines and dissects the life of Xena, Warrior Princess, with the help of those who know her best. No one is safe from his probing cameras and misguided questions.
Gabrielle: "It's good to see you."
Beowulf: "And you, Gabrielle."
Beowulf: "Xena, you're long way from home."
Xena: "What's going on, Beowulf? The last time you saw Gabrielle you were willing to walk through a column of fire to be by her side."
Beowulf: "It was love-struck foolishness. I like my bones the way they are … without the flesh seared from them."
Beowulf: "Rest. Slake your thirst."
Xena: "We didn't come here to drink with you, Beowulf. I need to see Odin."
Beowulf: "You know where to find him."
Gabrielle: "Valhalla, but it's not easy to get there."
Valkyrie: "For some. But you were a Valkyrie once, Xena. You know the way to Valhalla. Die a hero's death. I'll escort you there myself."
Xena: "That's part of my long-range plan. Right now I just need to see Odin."
Valkyrie: "Odin doesn't need to see you. In fact, we have orders to keep you away from him."
Xena: "Well, I don't want to make a sister Valkyrie look bad, but you're gonna have trouble following those orders."
Valkyrie: "Think so?"
Xena: "Mm-hmm." … [starts kicking some serious Valkyrie butt]
Nigel: [to the camera] … "Okay. We're rolling? Sound. Check. Check. Check. Testing 1, 2, 3. Great. Mary had a little lamb. Great … [seeing the commotion at the tavern] … Come on. Let's go … Coming through … Excuse me."
Xena: [shoving the head Valkyrie out of the tavern] … "Alright, get out."
Nigel: [to the camera] … "Here's Xena now. I think we're just gonna go over and talk to her … Excuse me … Coming through … Sorry, Valkyries … Xena, would you care to tell me why you've returned to the Norse lands at this time? … [Xena sees the camera and stares into it menacingly] … You realize Odin has vowed to kill you should you ever return to Valhalla? Would you care to comment on that threat? Xena?"
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