Takes One to Know One
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You did what?!
Xena: "What are you saying?! You can't have killed her, you weren't even here."
Gabrielle: "I know, but if it wasn't the knife, it had to have been me. You see, I ran into Raveneka two days ago. I heard she was hot on your trail so I decided to slow her down a bit. I thought I could get here first and warn you. So, I put Joxer's gravy recipe in her water bag."
Xena: "That's inhuman!"

Gabrielle: "It was only enough to give her the trots for a couple days, not enough to kill her, unless ... unless she was allergic to it. And with the rash on the back of her neck, she had to be. Which means ... I am the killer."

Xena: (to Discord) "No one's going anywhere ... at least, not just yet. Look, this (Raveneka's water bag) is as full as the day she filled it ... Raveneka never touched it. She probably conserved supplies and drank rain water. Which means that Gabrielle never killed anyone."

Discord: "Look, Xena, I'm tired of being jerked around."
Xena: "You gave me until sunrise to jerk you around."
Discord: "I lied ... time flies when I'm having fun."

Must concentrate ...
Xena: "Okay, we don't have very much time, which means I'm gonna want some straight answers."
Joxer: "Right."
Xena: "Starting with ... you!"
Joxer: "Me? What have I got to hide?"

Xena: "Now, this (torn piece of parchment) has been missing from Raveneka's things since we first unpacked them. I wouldn't mind betting that that third bounty scroll is somewhere in your bedroom, correct-a-mundo?"

Joxer: "It all started when I got a note from Lila. It was a love note doused with lavender. Of course, I was flattered. Lila's terrific, but I'm in love with Ga- ... with gallivanting around fighting for peace and justice. So, naturally, I decided to let her down with a little note of my own."
Autolycus: "I'm sure she was crushed."

One seriously miffed bard
Joxer: "I did borrow bits and pieces of Gabrielle's scroll to ..."
Gabrielle: "... do you have one of my scrolls?!"
Joxer: "Uh ... well ..."
Xena: "Go on with your story, Joxer ..."

Joxer: "Just a minute ... some people, I tell ya, they never wait ... Acck!"
Raveneka: "Well, if it isn't the famous assassin himself. Going a little soft, aren't you ... Jett."

Joxer: "She had mistaken me for my villainous twin brother. Happens all the time ..."

Joxer: "You got the wrong ..."
Raveneka: "Can it. I've got bigger fish on the line. But, I'm warning you, Jett, get in my way and this (Lila's love letter) won't be the only thing I rip in two ... lavender? You are getting soft."

*** The Ink Incident: Joxer's clumsiness strikes again propelling his inkwell upside the back of Raveneka's head. Oops.

Minya: "So, that's what killed her. It was Joxer in the bedroom with an inkwell?"
Joxer: "Hey, when I left her, she was stained but standing."

Joxer: "It was only later when I went back to get that little piece of scroll. Stealthy as a jungle cat, I crept around the room searching everywhere."

Joxer: "Sure, my brother Jett's a cold, merciless killer, but family's family, right?"

Autolycus: "You sure you didn't kill her by accident? You know, death by blunder, by lethal clumsiness."

Joxer: "I wasn't the last person to see Raveneka alive."
Lila: "You mean you saw her with Autolycus."
Joxer: "Not exactly ..."

Argo: (in annoyance of Joxer climbing out Raveneka's window) "Snicker ... snort."
Joxer: "Shh ... good horsey ... quiet horsey."

Autolycus: "Oh alright, I admit that I knew her. We even did a few jobs together a while back. Then, all of a sudden, she starts to collect bounties on guys like me. So I figure, well, if I just rob from her it really isn't stealing, it's more like payback. The trouble is Raveneka didn't share my point of view ..."

Autolycus: "Oh C'mon, Raveneka, you know I'd never lie to you."
Raveneka: "Are you saying you didn't steal my diamonds last night?"
Autolycus: "If I had, would I be right here at the very next tavern down the road? No. I'd be pawning them in Athens right now."
Raveneka: "Then why are you here?"
Autolycus: "I think we both know the answer to that ... (he sweeps her into his arms, they look longingly into each other's eyes and ...)"

Joxer: "Wait, wait, wait ... That not what I heard ..."

Raveneka: "Are you saying you didn't steal my diamonds last night?"
Autolycus: "If I had, would I be right here at the very next tavern down the road? No. I'd be pawning them in Athens right now."
Raveneka: "Then why are you here?"
Autolycus: "Because I know what you've become, and if you think I'm gonna let you cash in on Xena ... (produces a really sharp knife) ... think again."

Xena: (rather sarcastically) "You did that for me?"
Autolycus: "Yeah, okay, I admit it, but I ..."
Discord: "Well, it's about time. Okay Tall, Dark & Deadly, let's go."
Xena: "Wait, Discord, wait."
Discord: "What?"
Xena: "He didn't say that he killed her. He only said that he warned her."
Discord: "Killed, warned her, who cares? Now move before I make a warrior shish-ka-bob."
Xena: "Okay, I just thought that maybe Ares wouldn't be that happy if he knew that you deliberately let someone escape retribution."
Discord: "Fine, you want to play rough? I love rough. So here's the deal. You either hand me the killer on the next trip or I'll take them all, your friends, your family, everyone. That way I'll know the killer won't escape me, because none of you will."

Lila: "We're finished."
Xena: "Not if you come clean and tell me everything. For instance, where were you two (Lila & Minya) during all of this."
Cyrene: "That's easy, they were at the table talking. I could see them both from the kitchen door."
Xena: "I know that you might have seen them start a conversation, Mom, but I'm sure that at some point it turned into a monologue, right?"

Minya: "We were just trying to protect you."
Lila: "That's right. When Minya told me who Raveneka was, I was only too glad to help."
Xena: "Help do what?"
Minya: "Well, it was my idea ..."

Minya: "You think this storm is rough, you should have seen the one that struck my village about four years ago."
Lila: "Bad?"
Minya: (surreptitiously passes her knife to Lila) "With a capital beta. Yeah, the wind was blowing so hard that (exit Lila) everything that wasn't tied down got blown away, like a hare axe ... livestock ... small animals ... and rain, Ha! You know, one guy, he wanted to build a big boat and sell double occupancies ..."

Lila: "Minya and I figured that without her horse, Raveneka wouldn't be able to follow you ..."

Raveneka: "Looking to steal my horse?"
Lila: "No, I was ... uh ... just trying to calm him. The storm's got him scared."
Raveneka: "Looks to me that the only one scared out here is you ... who's that in my room?"

Minya: "Lila couldn't have used my knife on her. She hadn't gotten back from the stable when Raveneka was killed."
Xena: "So the figure I saw in the storm was Lila, and the light that Raveneka saw in her room was Minya."
Gabrielle: "That's where the fifth candle came from."

Minya: "When Raveneka headed out to the stables, I knew Lila was in trouble, so I had to do something to draw her back inside. I figured if she heard some men talking in her room that'd get her out of the stables and I could get away before she came back ..."

Raveneka: "Everyone is so considerate here, taking care of my horse and ... you're what? Making up my room?"

Minya: "I don't know what came over me. Seeing her standing there, knowing who she was, what she does, well, I guess I just saw red ... I high tailed it out of there. I thought she'd follow me and have it out."
Joxer: "That's right, because she couldn't! And it was Minya in the bedroom with the ..."
Autolycus: "... quiet."

Assembling the facts as only she can
Gabrielle: "Alright. Now, we've assemble the facts and there's one thing we know beyond a shadow of a doubt to be the indisputable truth -- Raveneka is dead and someone here killed her."
Autolycus: "Tell me something I don't know."
Gabrielle: "I could ask you the same thing, Autolycus."

Gabrielle: "Blood is thicker than ink, Joxer. And the same blood flows in you that flows in your deadly brother Jett ... (to Minya) but none of this explains why your knife was in Raveneka's chest."

Please make her stop
Gabrielle: "Those are the facts. It doesn't take an oracle to see our outcome."
Autolycus: "Right. We're all gonna die."

Discord: "Well, Xena, time's up, and I don't see you handing me the killer. So, boys (Discord's hunky henchmen take to the field) ..."

Discord: "You might be good in bed, but you're hopeless in a fight."

Xena has an epiphany!

Xena: "I know who did it!"
Discord: "If this is a stall to buy your loser friends more time ..."
Xena: "No stall, and if you're not satisfied, you can take me. That'll score points with Ares, don't ya think?"

Xena: "You see, Lila and Minya were guilty of thinking like Raveneka ..."

Raveneka: (to Argo) "Look at the bright side, horse, no more hauling Xena around."

Xena: "But, Argo has an instinct for danger, and she knew that something was up."

Xena: "You see, the door was locked from the inside by Raveneka with a key, but the window ... the window locks itself."
Discord: "That still doesn't explain the knife in her chest."

*** Coincidences being what they are in the Xenaverse, the knife flew from Raveneka's hand after Argo's kick and landed squarely in her chest after she was knocked down.

Xena: "The knife probably didn't go in much past the breastplate."
Discord: "But it was in up to its hit."
Xena: "Not at first ... (swings a low hanging chandelier) ... a horse kick to the chest, a hit to her head (by said chandelier) and a knife stuck in her chest, but Raveneka was still alive until ..."
Discord: "Oh puh-lease, what do you think, I'm some kind of moron? ... (WHACK!)

Xena: "The first hit from the chandelier knocked her down and the second one killed her. She fell forward ..."
Gabrielle: "... right on the knife."

Discord: "You're telling me your horse killed her?"
Xena: "In self-defense."
Autolycus: "You gotta admit, fits like a Trojan glove."
Discord:"But I can't take back a horse. I don't do animals."
Minya:"That's not what I heard."

Lila: (to Minya) "If you hadn't distracted Raveneka, who knows what she would have done to me. You're a real hero Minya."

Joxer: "Gabby, Sophocles said that plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery."
Gabrielle: "It doesn't excuse the fact that you took my scroll. Okay, you were willing to take my place with Discord, I can forgive you."

Cyrene: "These diamonds must be yours, Autolycus."
Autolycus: "No, mine are all here. Must be your lucky day, Cyrene."

Sorry I thought you were a murderer. Mom
Xena: "Mom, I'm really, really sorry that I suspected you."
Cyrene: "I'm not, ‘cuz it's true. I would kill to protect you, Xena. Any mother who loves her child would. I'm just glad I don't have to."

Gabrielle: "You know, when it's all said and done, it seems everyone behaved the way they did for one reason ... love ... for you ... for family."
Xena: "I guess you're right."
Gabrielle: "So, do you still think they're capable of anything?"
Xena: "Absolutely anything."

The Whole Gang: (to a surprised Gabrielle)
"For she's another year older, for she's another year older
For she's another year older, and that's a crying shame.
For she'll never get any younger, she'll never get any younger
She'll never get any younger, and that's a crying shame."

DISCLAIMER: Argo was once again proven innocent during the production of this motion picture.

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