Season 5 ...
Having been crucified by the Romans, Xena and Gabrielle pass on to the Other Side. Unfortunately for our heroines, the grass ain't always greener. The gals sprout wings. Callisto has a change of heart. And, Eli actually does something useful.
It's the first day of the rest their lives. Xena loses something a bit essential for an active warrior princess. Gabrielle picks up a new weapon (thank the gods). Joxer gets something off his chest. And, Ares proves once again that he will never give up on Xena.
Xena and Gabrielle meet up with the busty and deluded Mavikan. Ares sends the gals off to a land far, far away to duke it out. Xena and Gabrielle get a bit closer. Mavikan and her breasts are thwarted. Ares is dejected. And, Xena develops a bit of respect for Gabrielle.
Them Bones, Them Bones:
A strange force is destroying Xena's unborn child. The gals travel to the land of the Northern Amazons seeking help. Gabrielle has a bad trip. A few skeletons are found in Amarise' proverbial closet. And, Xena and Alti get down to the bare essentials.
Xena and the gang travel to Chin to learn the ancient technique of pyrotechnics. The gals must battle the Red Power Ranger for Lao Ma's book of wisdom. Gabrielle exhibits some amazing foot dexterity. And, Joxer proves that no matter what culture he is emersed in, he still has bad taste.
Back in the Bottle:
Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer head back to Chin to save the world once again. Sigh, when will Xena learn not to send Gabs off to do the job of a warrior princess? The producers develop a new concept known as the "revolving door" villain. Gabrielle saves the life of a young man by not getting romantically involved with him. Joxer does some embellishing. And, Xena learns that you can love somebody to death.
Aphrodite transports Xena's soul into the body of a child. Gabrielle and the Goddess of Love must find a way to get Xena back into her own body. As a side note, any mercenary who gets beat up by a 10 year old (no matter whose soul happens to be in control) should really consider a new field of work. And, could someone please tell Tharon that the Hercules sound stage is two doors down.
Seeds of Faith:
Could the sire of Xena's baby please stand? The gals try to help a peace-loving and non-violent Eli avoid becoming food for the worms, while Ares manipulates and cajoles. Boy, that Helios sure did have a lot of daggers (see The Quest). With a little help from an angel, destinies are fulfilled as prophesies draw near.
Lyre, Lyre Hearts on Fire:
The gang come across a golden lyre, a love-sick Draco, some melodic Amazon's, Joxer's other brother Jace, and a meddlesome mother. A Battle of the Bands is set to determine the owner of Terpsichore's melodious instrument. Hmm, Gee, I wonder who'll win this one? Did I mention that along the way they invent Disco, Rap, Blues and Punk Rock music?
While experiencing a bit of writer's block, and with the help of the Goddess of Love, Gabrielle recounts a day of mayhem and madness ... Gabrielle makes a few bets she can't collect on. Xena gets a bit cranky. Argo loses a few pounds. And, a few 'inner children' are set free.
God Fearing Child:
Can you say "dysfunctional family"? After Xena's unborn child is prophesized to bring about the destruction of the Greek gods, Zeus vows to destroy the child. Hercules comes out of retirement to help an old friend. Hera has a change of heart. Ares grows a heart. And, a new life is brought into the world.
If three armies converge in a forest and no one is there to hear them ... Xena and the gang split up when Joxer is severely wounded. Gabrielle keeps her word and actually proves to be a bit more alert. Xena teaches Eve a few warrior princess tricks of the trade. Joxer has a good idea. And, Ares' manhood is severely insulted.
Amphipolis Under Siege:
Athena attacks Xena's hometown in an effort to destroy poor, little Eve. Xena further masters the art of seduction and manipulation. And the renowned cult sci-fi vixen Musetta Vander finally makes her way to the Xenaverse (as Elanis, Athena's girlfriend … I mean … second in command).
Married With Fishsticks:
Well, this episode was very … um … hmm … just when you thought it couldn't get worse, it did … but don't take my word for it … read on … if you dare … but don't say I didn't warn you.
While bestowing upon Eve Gabrielle's Right of Caste, the girls get a bit of a history lesson, and prove that history can repeat itself.
Gabrielle decides to play Queen with her new Amazons. Joxer manages to get himself into a slew of trouble … again. Xena develops a knack for whittling. And the writers page homage to the World Wide Wrestling Federation.
Antony & Cleopatra:
Deception and betrayal are afoot when Xena and Gabrielle travel to Egypt. The writers take a very liberal approach to history and the legendary story of Antony and Cleopatra is born.
Looking Death on the Eye:
An aging Joxer reads the last written account of Gabrielle and Xena's adventures in which the Olympic gods are determined to prove the concept of self-fulfilled destiny as they persistently pursue the gals and Eve. Sigh, when will they learn not to underestimate Xena & Gabrielle? More to the point, when will Xena learn to not underestimate Ares?
Xena and Gabrielle awaken from their icy tomb to find that time has busily passed them by. They travel to Rome to find Xena's long lost daughter. But, alas, they are not greeted with the family reunion they had anticipated.
Xena and the gang trot after Livia, who is bent on destroying the cult of Eli. Ares continues his manipulation of both mother and daughter. And, Livia finally sees the light, literally.
Xena, Gabrielle and a newly reformed Eve must face the gods in a final showdown. Gabrielle starts hearing voices in her head. Ares surprises even himself. And, some cheap Olympic real estate goes up on the market.