Well, I guess it was only a matter of time ... yes, folks, it's women in prison ancient Mediterranean style. Xena, having been accused of murdering a young, innocent girl (and accepting her guilt) gets hauled off to Alcatraz ... I mean, Shark Island Prison. Coincidences being what they are in the Xenaverse, the warden turns out to be none other than the woman Xena is accused of murdering. Gabrielle saves a soul and almost rescues Xena. And, Xena develops a new taste for raw rat meat.
Gabrielle: "I can't find it."
Xena: "It's there."
Gabrielle: "Uh ... I got it? I got it."
Xena: "Gabrielle, stop searching with your eyes."
Gabrielle: "Alright, no eyes."
Xena: "Found it? Ahh ... found it.
Gabrielle: "What in Tartarus have you been carrying on these shoulders?"
Xena: "I wouldn't know. I try not to over analyze my life like some people."
Gabrielle: "Some people say that an unexamined life is not worth living."
Xena: "Those people haven't led my life."
Gabrielle: "This is an arrest warrant ... for you."
Xena: "For what?"
Gabrielle: "Just because someone wrote that on a piece of parchment doesn't make it true. Tell him, Xena."
Xena: "I did it."
Gabrielle: "Well, she was crazed or she was armed, right? There was some sort of mitigating circumstance."
Xena: "Gabrielle, she was innocent. She did nothing to me and I killed her because it suited my purposes. How's that for mitigating circumstances?"
Gabrielle: "What are you doing?"
Xena: "I'm going back with them. You said yourself that I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, maybe it was the weight of my guilt. This is my chance to do something about it. Take it. You know I'm right."
Xena's Tortured Past
Town Elder: "They say you don't kill unarmed women."
Xena: "There's a first time for everything, old man."
Gabrielle: "This was a terrible waste of a life. But Xena, Xena has changed."
Judge: "And you believe in her conversion."
Judge: "And she's done nothing since you've know her to make you question her resolve?"
Gabrielle: "If you're looking for perfection, we all fall short."
Judge: "Xena, do you accept the condemnation of the court of your guilt in this matter?"
Xena: "I do."
Judge: "Then I sentence you to life imprisonment on Shark Island. May the gods have mercy on your soul."
Gabrielle: "You could have said something for your defense."
Xena: "There's no defense for what I did, Gabrielle."
Gabrielle: "Xena, you could have argued the Greater Good. Come on, surely what you can do outside prison will outweigh ..."
Xena: "What? Outweigh what? The pain that girl felt as she was being eaten alive?"
Xena: "Gabrielle, she was like you. She had your kind of spirit, and I killed that. What can outweigh that?"
Gabrielle: "Xena, if you're looking for redemption you're not going to find it there."
Xena: "I'm not looking for redemption anymore. Gabrielle, we're always talking about your spiritual quest. You say that you need something to make you feel complete. Well, so do I."
Ursena: "You know what I've spent the last two years asking myself? How can that murdering bitch, Xena, send people away to be punished? You never had to pay for your crimes. That's always bothered me."
Xena: "Then we have something in common. It's always bothered me too."
Thelassa: "An altar for the souls of the dead ... or is it just for the souls of the people you've killed, Xena? Well, it looks like you miscounted."
Thelassa: "I've been watching you since you came here, Xena. At first, I couldn't figure out what you were up to, helping people, building that silly shrine, and then I realized what I'd heard about you was true. You're trying to make up for all the evil things you've done. How pathetic! As if any of it could make up for what you've done to me. You know, Xena, the thought of you has haunted me every moment of my life. Do you understand what that's like?"
Xena: "Yes, I do."
Thelassa: "You finally have the punishment you sought, but it's for a crime you didn't even commit. Don't you just love the irony?"
Thelassa: "Can you heal the pain, or are you a fraud like all the others?"
Gabrielle: "Where does it hurt?"
Gabrielle: "This wound is so old, it should get more attention."
Thelassa: "Why do I feel like it's still there?"
Gabrielle: "Maybe you haven't accepted the loss."
Thelassa: "What would you know about loss?"
Gabrielle: "A few things."
Thelassa: "You have such warmth and beauty. I had that once, too."
Gabrielle: "If you give yourself a chance, you might rediscover your soul."
Thelassa: "That's sentimental nonsense. Whatever beauty I had inside me was crushed the day evil entered my life ... a tall, dark haired evil. She took my beauty and she mutilated my soul."
Gabrielle: (to old woman) "Excuse me, may I borrow your broom?"
Prick Guard: "Gonna sweep up a little dirt?"
Gabrielle: "In a manner of speaking, yes ... (kicks some serious guard butt) ... thank you."
Thelassa: "Now I owe my life to you. The gods certainly do love playing with our fates, don't they?"
Xena: "Thelassa, I can't ask your forgiveness. I wronged you terribly. There's one thing I know. When I met you, you were a wonderful, loving person, and if you continue to let that love be buried under bitterness and anger, evil wins."
Thelassa: "What you say is true. Your friend here she helped me get back in touch with something these last few days ... my soul. My ability to do good at being crippled, the Evil Xena, she did that to me. Don't let her do it to you."
Gabrielle: "So, how about it?"
Xena: "How about what?"
Gabrielle: "Forgiving yourself."
Xena: "Gabrielle, that's not for me. But, I won't let that monster I used to be, the one that's sleeping so close to my heart, destroy all the good I can do now."
Gabrielle: "Not as long as I'm around."
DISCLAIMER: No rabid flesh-eating crabs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.