Hooves & Harlots

Xena races to stop a war between the Centaur and Amazon nations. Gabrielle becomes an Amazon princess and finally learns some self-defense (thanks to Eponin, ah, Eponin).


Could this be foreshadowing?  Ya think?
Gabrielle: "You can lean on it if you need a rest. You can kill nasty little critters if you want to lay down ... just ... yeah. It's got a good feel."
Xena: "Let me look at this ... hm, not bad."
Gabrielle: "Or, you could do that."


Terreis: "You know the Amazon ways, yet you're not one of us ... and you're really not one of us."
Gabrielle: "Hey, don't judge a scroll by its paper."

Terreis: "It is a man's world, Gabrielle, not because it should be, but because we let them have it. It's based on a woman's weakness."
Gabrielle: "Yeah?"
Terreis: "The Amazon world is based on truth, on a woman's individual strength."
Gabrielle: "I'm all for that. I've always considered myself a single-minded person. Of course, if I got married I'd have to ask my husband if it was okay ... heh ... that was a joke."

Stop staring at me before I take your eyes out
Xena: "Something about me you find interesting?"
Ephiny: "Yes."
Xena: "You want to tell me?"
Ephiny: "No."
Xena: "Then stop staring at me before I take your eyes out."


Gabrielle: "What did you mean by I'm no friend of the Centaurs'?"
Xena: "A long time ago, my army fought the centaurs."
Gabrielle: "Yeah, well, I guess they wouldn't be your friends if you defeated them in battle."
Xena: "I fought them ... I never defeated them."


Phantes: "If it looks like a hydra and moves like a hydra, it's a hydra."


Melosa: "We've heard of you, Xena. To some of us you are a hero, a true Amazon at the head of the mightiest army the world has ever known."

Xena: "Only fools and profiteers ask for war. Centaurs are neither."

Gabrielle: "So, are we gonna talk about this rite of caste thing?"
Melosa: "With her dying wish Terreis bestowed all of her rights and possessions to you ... and her position."
Gabrielle: "Wait, you mean I'm an Amazon?"
Melosa: "Terreis was my true sister, the next in the royal line. You're an Amazon princess."

Gabrielle: "What kind of person was she?"
Magdelus: "Terreis was an Amazon in the purest sense."
Eponin: "She would have made a good leader one day."
Magdelus: "And she didn't think that all Centaurs and men were evil ... just misguided."
Gabrielle: "It's a man's world, not because it should be, because we let them have it. I guess that's true."

Ephiny: "Come ... now."
Gabrielle: "I'm sorry, you must have me mistaken for a pet."

Gabrielle gets her first staff
Ephiny: "From birth every Amazon is taught to use weapons. Pick your first weapon."
Gabrielle: "No, I don't like swords ... can't hit the side of a Cyclops with a bow and arrow ... ah, what's this?"
Ephiny: "That's a fighting staff."
This picture is only here becuase of Eponin.  Let's have a moment of quiet reflection, please


Gabby having a seizure ... opps, nevermind ... Gabby dancing
Eponin: "Time to dance, Princess."
Gabrielle: "I'm really, really bad at this ... no ... no ... I have two left feet facing backwards ... no ... they wouldn't let me dance at the crop festival because I brought a bad harvest ..."


Melosa: "When Terreis gave you her rite of caste, she made you her avenger. You have to carry out the sentence with her sword."
Gabrielle: "I can't kill someone."
Melosa: "You're an Amazon now, Gabrielle, to refuse would be treason and your own death."


Xena: "This map hardly has a mention of the Centaurs' territory ... or the Amazons'. Did you have it drawn up before or after the murder."
Krykus: "It's a contingency map. I like to be prepared for any eventuality."
Xena: "Well, this eventuality has you absolute ruler of the land."


Xena: "What's this?"
Gabrielle: "I'm an Amazon princess?"
Xena: "Great."

Gabrielle: "Don't you think she knows what she's doing? You've never seen her fight. I have seen her fight ... a lot."
Ephiny: (to Xena) "She's annoying. How do you put up with her?"
Gabrielle: "Hey, she puts up with me fine."


Xena: "Making war is simple. Making peace is never easy. If it was, everyone would do it."


Gabrielle: "I was just telling them the Morpheus story."
Phantes: "And the Trakus story, the Titans, Pandora ... She knows them by heart and she loves to tell them."
Ephiny: "Now I see why you ride the horse."
Gabrielle: "Now what's that supposed to mean?"

And out two heroes walk off into the sunset
Gabrielle: "You know, I just thought of something, you're a Warrior Princess and I'm an Amazon Princess. This is going to make such a cool story."


DISCLAIMER: No males, Centaurs, or Amazons were harmed during the production of this motion picture.


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