King Sisyphus captures Celesta in an attempt to defy death. That Talus, what a nice young man. Wait ... Talus watch out! Don't charm Gabrielle, it could prove to be hazardous to your ... nevermind, too late now.
Gabrielle: "Looks like they're (two young lovers) having fun ... not that I envy them or anything. I mean, what does she have that I don't have? Okay, love. But what about the important things in life? Travel ... adventure ... meeting interesting people. As for the apple, I can pick my own."
Xena: "Join a worthless band of low-life scum? I think I'll pass."
Toxeus: "Pity, I have a strict recruiting policy: join, or die."
Gabrielle: "I don't get it. Toxeus knew your reputation, so why would he want to fight you?"
Xena: "Because he knew my reputation."
Gabrielle: "Oh, you mean he wanted to be known as the man who killed Xena ... not a smart goal."
Hades: "Always ready for a fight. That's why I like you, Xena."
Hades: "God of the Underworld at your service."
Xena: "What do you want?"
Hades: "Hey, relax. I'm a big fan, though for a while you were working us pretty hard down there."
Hades: "In a few hours, Celesta's eternal flame will burn out. If you don't release her before that happens, eternal suffering will be the fate of all mankind. You know who my sister is, don't you?"
Gabrielle: "I've been thinking, if Sisyphus gets his way and nobody ever dies people will have to watch how they word things. I mean, if you tell someone you'll love then forever, it means forever."
Toxeus: "Give it up, Xena. You can't kill me, I'm a god."
Xena: "You're no god, Toxeus. Death's capture has kept you alive, and when I release her, you will die."
Xena: "You're blinded by your selfish desire to live Sisyphus. Now tell me where she is, or I'll make your eternity a living Hell."
Sisyphus: "Still favoring brawn over brains, Xena. Think about it, you must have loved ones ... somewhere. You'll never have to leave them, never have to watch them leaving you. You'll have eternal bliss. Perhaps you should take some time, mull it over a while."
Xena: "Sorry, Sisyphus. Time is the one thing I don't have."
Sisyphus: "On the contrary, time is the only thing you have."
Gabrielle: "You know, there's a high rate of infection in wounds left untreated."
Talus: "Right, maybe we could find you a doctor, you can't be too careful."
Gabrielle: "Then again, we could just ..."
Xena: "When Gabrielle has her mind set to something, nothing can change it."
Talus: "It's not how long you live that matters, it's how you live."
Xena: "Shouldn't you be looking for a shallow grave somewhere?"
Toxeus: "Just a few more minutes."
Xena: "C'mon, Toxeus, wouldn't you rather have me by the throat than that scrawny little girl?"
Toxeus: "Are you offering to join me?"
Xena: "Run me through and I'm yours."
Thug: "Die, Xena!"
Xena: "Not today."
Talus: "I should have told you. Forgive me, Gabrielle. All I wanted was the memory of you."
Gabrielle: "This can't be happening."
Talus: "We'll be together again someday ... on the other side."
DISCLAIMER: No jumbo-sized cocktail rats were harmed during the making of this motion picture.