Send in the Clones

With the help of a beautiful scientist, three socially defunct Xenites with a bit too much time on their hands decide to clone their two favorite Mycenaean heroes, Xena & Gabrielle.


[On a dark, deserted road in the middle of nowhere, two cars meet. A gorgeous woman emerges from a red Pontiac Firebird. A shifty fellow with a briefcase emerges from the other vehicle.]

'Perfectly preserved'
Alexis: [observing the case's contents] "2000 year old hair samples perfectly preserved [hands the shifty fellow an envelope filled with cash] It's all there."


Alti: "What's it gonna be, Xena?"
Xena: "Alright, you win. You give me my child's soul, and I will take you back to my world."
Alti: "Tsk-tsk. First, you take me back, then you get your child."
Xena: "The ritual's already begun. All you have to do is take my hand."
Alti: "I knew you'd see things my way."

[Xena awakens in her own realm. Alti's bones animate as the evil shamaness' spirit takes hold.]

Alti: "Now, the real fun starts." -- Them Bones, Them Bones

'I just loved everything about this episode'
Polly: "You know? I just loved everything about this episode."
Lea: "Yeah, that's a good one. We should definitely include that. You know, it's important we have clips that strongly represent Xena's enemies."
Mack: "Shouldn't we have some more Joxer stuff?" [the phone rings]
Polly: [and ring] "You're kidding, aren't you?" [... and rings]
Lea: "Will someone get that phone?"

Mack: "Hello."
Alexis: "It's Alexis."
Mack: "It's her Yes, Alexis?"
Alexis: "Phase one is complete. Have you compiled the clips?"
Mack: "They're almost done."
Alexis: "They need to be on digital disks. When we transfer there can't be any dropping of--"
Mack: "Alexis, this is my field. I'm a computer nerd, remember? I know what I'm doing."
Alexis: "Do you have a balanced selection?"
Mack: "Personally, I'd like to see more Joxer stuff."
Alexis: "Look, any disagreements will be settled by Lea. She's working with us because of her knowledge of psychological profiles. You'll defer to her."
Mack: "Alright."
Alexis: "And the rest of the team, has it come together? Do you have Dr. Polly?"
Mack: "Yes."
Alexis: "Great. Three of you meet me here in 72 hours."
Mack: "Okey-dokey."


[The Xenite trio barrel into a computer lab.]

Lea: "Well, did it work?!"
Mack: "Please, tell us what we want to hear, Alexis!"
Polly: "The DNA in the hair, was it--"
Alexis: "Everything we hoped for. Maturation acceleration worked beyond my wildest dreams. See for yourselves." [motions towards two very lifelike ancient Greek babes]

'See for yourselves'
Lea: "I'm gonna cry."
Polly: "Awesome."
Mack: "Cool."


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